Found January 09, 2012 on Unathletic:

By now, everyone has heard that New England Patriots Offensive Coordinator Bill O’Brien is going to be the next head coach at Penn State University. I don’t know much about Bill O’Brien except that he screamed at Tom Brady this season, which was awesome. Just because of that one incident, I’m pulling for O’Brien to succeed….

With that said, it’s going to be damn near impossible for him to succeed. It really is. First and foremost, he’s following Joe Paterno, who is a God at State College. Secondly, he needs to be successful from the jump and continue to succeed, which is going to be impossible because he’s not going to be able to recruit anybody. This is could be the worst job in sports!

Knowing that, there are 5 low-level jobs in professional sports I would take over the head coaching job at PSU. Here they are..

(5) An Endzone Painter

If you know your ABC’s then your chances of being successful are infinitely higher than Bill O’Brien’s chances of succeeding at Penn State. Pick a warm climate and this isn’t half-bad.

(4) Carlos Zambrano’s Therapist

Let’s make it interesting… Suddenly the odds of success have leveled off a tad. Z-man got a change of scenary, and may have some good years left. You have to remember the Sandusky scandal has pretty much guaranteed that you have a better chance of converting Z-man than recruiting 5-stars at PSU.

(3) Equipment Manager for an NHL Team

Have you ever smelt a hockey locker room? Listen, hockey equipment could be some of the smelliest crap in sports. With that said, it doesn’t stink as bad as the Penn State situation. Some smelly equipment, sewing jerseys, laundry… cake walk.

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