From a Deuce reader:
Man City to make GBP50m bid for Newcastle United supporters

Premier League billionaires Manchester City have today launched an
audacious bid for the entire fan base of recently relegated Newcastle
United. The unexpected move has come as part of City's plans to be
the best supported club in the world, and the so-called 'Best
Supporters In The World' have provided a logical starting point. The
move will see each of Newcastle United's 50,000 'regulars' offered
GBP1,000 to change their allegiances to Manchester City.

Our competitive advantage is our financial position, and we will buy
anything and everything we feel will help us improve this football
club. Said City boss Mark Hughes. Securing the Newcastle United fans
offers us a great opportunity to improve our position as the best
supported club in the league They have just the sort of experience
we're looking for, in that they've enjoyed fleeting periods of great
expectation followed almost immediately by abject failure, which will
be useful to us in the next two years.

Unlimited funds

Hughes continued, We'll happily pay top dollar for supporters who
will blindly follow their team and defend them as the greatest in the
world in the face of over-whelming evidence to the contrary. And in
that respect, the Geordies really are second to none. The Newcastle
fans, who will not be subjected to a medical, are expected to have a
'fully clothed at all times' clause inserted into their Man City
contracts. A Newcastle spokesperson said that although the move has
come at a bad time for them, the entire fee will be used to rebuild
the supporter base into a slimmer, better looking unit which they
hope will be 'the envy of the Championship' .