Impossible Ways To Improve Sports

Don Quixote tilted at windmills; I tilt at sports. Here's ten ways to make sports better that will never, ever happen.10) Outlaw athletes in broadcasting. Let's see; we've got people who go to school to learn how to perform as broadcast journalists. We also have people who spend their lives studying every possible nuance, maybe even with extensive statistical analysis, or from cultivating managerial and coaching sources over decades of work. And over here, we've got a guy who used to play the game, probably with such a monomaniacal focus that he has active contempt of study or thought. But on the plus side, the athlete also has a lifetime of recited cliches and tired anecdotes, along with a need to cover for the friends he has that are still in the game. By all means, let's keep hearing from the meatheads.9) No non-sports coverage of athletes. Hundreds of years ago, one of the most successful composers in classical music was, well, a raging anti-Semite. Had he wo...