Game Recap: Cubs 12, Astros 0 -- Pimp Slap Returned

(game recap graphic to come later)Yesterday, the Astros busted out 11 runs against Chicago, thanks mostly to a tired, incompetent Cubs bullpen.  Today, the Cubs returned the favor with an explosion of 12 runs scored.  If the laws of "don't score too many one day or you won't have any tomorrow" hold true, then hopefully the two teams have evened things out and tomorrow will be a fair contest.  Wait, the Cubs also held the Astros to 0 runs?  Huh.  Never mind. Today's offensive heroes were everybody in the Cubs lineup -- except Fukudome, who was called in to replace an injured Reed Johnson -- with particular nods to Aramis Ramirez (solo homerun in the 3rd*) and Alfonso Soriano (3-run-jack in the 2nd).  Even Three Finger Hill, whose offensive numbers are mocked by most pitchers in the league, managed 2 hits and an RBI, raising his average to .143 on the season.  Woof. (*It would have gone farther into the bleachers if only he ...