Originally written on Total Sports Blog  |  Last updated 10/21/14
I’d imagine Chloe would probably make a decent linebacker Dear DirecTV, You see the picture above?  I couldn’t put together a better physical embodiment of your service if I had traded a couple of 8-balls to Lamar Odom for his wife and sister-in-law (and whoever that 3rd wheel hiding behind the over-sized aviators is) and took that  photo myself.  The only thing that would make it more perfect is if I scrambled the image.  I feel compelled to write this letter because much like Lamar’s detox symptoms, your television service is a headache that I just can’t get rid of. I mean that.  I can’t get rid of you.  You’re the only option in my apartment building, and if I were to decline your service I’d be without television like some sort of hipster living on the 5th floor of a Brooklyn walk-up who prefers to spend his money on skinny jeans and decorative scarves than your ****** service.  With the extra $20 a month for an HD DVR and additional $20.99 I pay just so I can watch AMC’s Breaking
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

MLB announces significant scheduling changes for Orioles

Meyer: NFL teams were bothered by Tebow media circus

NFL to suspend Dion Jordan for entire 2015 season

Bryce Harper calls Andrelton Simmons' slide a 'B.S. play'

Kirk Gibson diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Kevin Love likely out for remainder of playoffs

NFL fines Jets $100K for tampering with Revis

Report: Ray Rice getting 'legititmate interest' from teams

NFL Draft hopeful Ray arrested before biggest day of his life

Goodell expects DeflateGate report's release 'soon'

J.R. Smith promises to be better person, player after suspension

MLB's pace of game changes are working

Does Tom Brady's SB 50 invite deflate Deflategate?

The Washington Wizards are looking like title contenders

WATCH: Ray Lewis gives fiery speech about Baltimore riots

Some early season observations that could hold true all year

Tampa Bay Buccaneers GM: 'Everything is for sale'

Tampa restaurant offers Jameis Winston free crab legs

J.J. Watt writes note for fan to get out of work for charity event

Should the Warriors be worried about extended rest?

WATCH: Paul Pierce bangs glass at Capitals-Islanders Game 7

Jon Jones turns himself into police, facing felony charge

Report: Brady was at stadium day of White House visit

All Sports News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Kirk Gibson diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease

Bucs GM: 'Everything is for sale'

Tampa restaurant offers Jameis Winston free crab legs

Hamilton: Angels knew the risks

Jon Jones turns himself into police, facing felony charge

MLB could move Orioles’ home games

Duke takes over as the No. 1 recruiting class

Titans have been 'all over' Mariota?

Doc Rivers tore into Clippers after loss

Worst picks ever by every NFL franchise

Report: Cowboys not in on Peterson

NFL Draft 2015: Ranking the QBs

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.