Found April 02, 2013 on
We're starting a new month, *******. Against the Sabres, of all people. Ew.
And the coaching staff has scratched Joe Vitale without our permission.
OTHER THINGS THAT ARE UNACCEPTABLE: Jaromir Jagr traded to the Bruins. Can't wait to be at that game and **** some people up.
More acceptable things: Brooksie has played 622 games, the most of any Penguins defenseman of all time. Hot damn excuse us.
NEW FAVORITE SITCOM
It's called Gene and Jarome Take the Hill and it's Evgeni's first shift with Iginla this game which is basically flawless.
Unfortunately we also have to deal with Tyler's Ponies: Las Vegas in the next time slot. But Iginla wants Ryan Miller as a Very Special Guest Star on the serious episode where someone loses their virginity or runs away from boarding school to get married like Jo on The Facts of Life.
And Malkin almost fed Engelland on some kind of Jesus play. It's going to be a good night on television.
The Sabres take a penalty but it's only because they love us.
And another for good measure. Guess Morrow must have bled on the Weber ******** because it's four minutes. LEAST LOVE
Jarome Iginla's stick breaks on the point on the extended PP. Someone whose name we don't know breaks Koun's shutout streak immediately afterwards, Niskanen obtains possession and just gives a blind drop pass right to the Sabre stranger *****. His name might be Porter. We know for sure he has never before scored in the NHL. ****.
Shorthanded stranger ***** goal no less.
But we'll get love back. we hope.
Ryan Miller looks catlike in his concentration. This could be the longest night. TK is our first line center, guys.
MOMENT YOU WERE DELIVERED FROM EVIL BY THE GODS OF CANADA
Power play time is winding down. Penguins playing catch and battling hard behind the net. Malkin to Kunitz to a nice little fake to. . .cross crease to Jarome. Miller isn't looking so hot anymore, because he just got schooled by Chris Kunitz (of all people IKR) and Iggy has a wide open net. hahahahah oh man we are so cocky everyone hates us can you feel the hate
MOMENT THE GODS OF CANADA SENT YOU A FLAMING BAG OF ****
steve ott scored
No further comment.
In the words of Kim: "we can always kill ourselves."
Accurate. Period ends, 2-1.
BEST MOMENT FOR CRACKING AN EXTRA BEER
Early second period Cody Hodgson schools Vokoun on a wraparound. oh okay sure thing cody you do that. Then Porter forces us to know his name, Voldemort style.
It's 4-1, and an injured warrior saddles up.
MAF's first action since getting messed up by TK/Gionta. Comes out early to challenge a shot.
Engo took a penalty. Killed-ish. Except then we just took another penalty (imagine that). But MAF is all over everyone's balls.
Just when you thought you were out of the woods, the Pens took another penalty. So we're ****** is what we're saying.
It would be nice to get a goal before the horn but Douglas Murray is leading a rush with like 30 seconds left, so. Yeah no.
Speaking of Murry the Pens apparently have 3 shots in the second period. Um.
SHORTEST STAY IN PURGATORY
James takes a retaliatory interference penalty to start the third. Killed by the grace of MAF. But. . .what's this after the TV timeout? Another penalty?
Really not sure what we're supposed to think at this point except fall on the ground and prostrate ourselves towards the Sun in thanks that MAF is well enough to do this right now.
Pens did get a PP but it's a mess.
Story of the game is Porter almost getting a hattie. Trying not to curse himself.
Nothing else to say. We were never gonna have that one back. Fifteen, ladies and gents. Adieu.
Pens lose 4-1
INDIVIDUAL AWARDS NEVER SAW IT COMING
Bobby and Steiggy. Thought they were going to see a much different moment tonight, you can tell. They're homers but they can be beautiful homers (mostly referring to Bobby here). They unfortunately had to witness the moment that the glass slipper shattered.
ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
1. Iggy because duh. This is a Penguins blog. We were so happy to see him score.
2. The inevitable ********* that is going to happen when I start tagging these posts. PLEASE BE KIND, PSEUDO-REDDIT AKA TUMBLR ******* WE'RE ANCIENT AND DON'T UNDERSTAND THE INTERNET. think of us like your grandma
3. nathan gerbe
Cooke let him live.
does our inaugural tumblr post please you
well, kind of our inagural Tumblr post. We're sorry we don't know what has just happened.
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
A.B. These are the types of posts that prove social media is good for professional sports leagues. With technologies like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram – teams can now offer an inside the locker room fan experience without the security clearances, VIP passes and visitor inconveniences. A Bruins fan like myself can now just press a few buttons on my phone and avoid the trespassing...
Jarome Iginla wants to re-sign in Pittsburgh:
Jarome Iginla first choice is to sign a extension with Penguins. If not possible, Kings are a strong option. #RDS
— Renaud Lavoie (@RenLavoieRDS) April 2, 2013
Kinda of a weird tweet, but Renaud is dialed in. Plus he tweets in french so he wouldn't be committed to a lie in two lanuages.
Lots of ways to...
Jaromir Jagr arrived in Boston this morning and spoke with Channel 7 about being traded. Despite hating to move mid-season, he seemed pretty excited when he heard he was coming to Boston.
WHDH-TV 7News Boston
“Lots of pressure, that’s for sure, but I’m not the same guy I was 15 years ago, that’s for sure. But, you know, I can promise the fans -- I love to work...
The Bruins clearly needed to upgrade their offense and their power play, and they may have done so by adding a future Hall of Famer.
According to multiple reports, the B’s have acquired forward Jaromir Jagr from the Dallas Stars. According to Dallas Morning News reporter Mike Heika, the Bruins will send two prospects and a draft pick to the Stars in exchange for Jagr. It’s unclear...
Roy has been dealt to Vancouver, and now we are officially in the Jagr sweeps. Jagr's refusal to sign next year and the Stars recent terrible home stand has put #68 officially on the trade floor...
And the Bruins grabbed him very quickly...
Jagr deserves a ton of credit for what he has done in completely re-inventing himself. He has become a mentor, a leader, and he...
It’s safe to say that many of the young guns in the Bruins locker room grew up idolizing Jaromir Jagr, but how many of those players can say they posed with the hockey legend as a squirt?
Milan Lucic can and he has the photo to prove it.
James Duthie tweeted out a photo of Lucic and his two brothers, Jovan and Nikola, posing with Jagr in what appears to be a hallway before or after...
Jaromir Jagr wasn’t the first player taken in the 1990 draft. In fact, he wasn’t the second, third or fourth player picked. Jagr lasted until pick No. 5 those 23 years ago, behind Owen Nolan, Petr Nedved, Keith Primeau and Mike Ricci.
Nolan was the No. 1 overall pick that year, selected by the Quebec Nordiques. He would go on to play 18 seasons in the NHL, spending time with...
Just one day before the NHL trade deadline, the Bruins finally made a splash, acquiring veteran winger Jaromir Jagr from the Dallas Stars for a pair of prospects and a draft pick.
Though Jagr, 41, becomes the oldest player on the Bruins roster (surpassing 38-year-old Jay Pandolfo), he also comes to Boston tied with Brad Marchand for the team lead in goals with 14. Bruins general...
By Mitch Cole (@DirtyWaterBuzz)
The Bruins may have lost out on Jarome Iginla, but they did get the next best player on the market.
Tuesday afternoon, the Bruins announced that they had acquired veteran forward Jaromir Jagr from the Dallas Stars in exchange for forward Lane MacDermid, the rights to unsigned draft pick Cody Payne, and a conditional second round pick that...
The Philadelphia Flyers find themselves back in the mix for an Eastern Conference playoff spot after earning points in their last three games. Amazing the difference a week can make. As a result of their sudden re-birth, and the fact that they are decimated by injur,y (Danny Briere, Max Talbot, Bradon Coburn, Andrej Meszaros and Nicklas Grossmann all out indefinitely) the Flyers...
BOSTON — There was much anticipation for Jaromir Jagr‘s debut in Bruins black and gold leading into Thursday’s game with the New Jersey Devils. Because of that, the Jagr circus may have overshadowed a fine performance from Tuukka Rask — just a little bit.
However, in the moments after the final horn sounded on a 1-0 Bruins win, it was Rask who was recognized in front of the...
PREVIEW 4:15 AM CDT
Yesterday, the Dallas Stars (16-16-3) unofficially waved the white flag of surrender on the lockout-shortened 2013 season and began looking to the future.
The team traded its leading scorer, future Hall of Fame right winger Jaromir Jagr, to the Boston Bruins and its second-line center, Derek Roy, to the Vancouver Canucks in exchange for prospects and draft...
By Matthew Feuerman of TiqIQ,
Can the Penguins have all hands on deck? The wildly successful franchise this season can’t seem to get all of its stars healthy at once. “Star” is the operative word here. The Penguins have many. They just reeled in superstar Jarome Iginla over the trading deadline, but lost Sidney Crosby, who was having one of the best seasons of his career...
The New York Rangers (17-15-3) host the Pittsburgh Penguins (28-9-0) at Madison Square Garden starting at 7:30 p.m. For a preview go to Yahoo! Sports.
Rangers Game Notes
TV: NBC Sports Network; Radio: The Apple (AM 970), XM 212
Live Stream (Don't click on ads in stream, may download virus):
Usually for a particular sport's trade deadline we wait until the day of the deadline to run a live blog, but there's so much activity today that if we waited, we might get pre-empted. So I thought I'd fire up the blog now - what are your thoughts about the Stars' firesale? How about the Pens' trades from last week?
Jarome Iginla, Jaromir Jagr, Brenden...