So Many Bears

So, one of the hot trends for Christmas 2011 is NCAA Mascot Pillow Pets. They're cute, they're spirited, and they're roughly $30. Looking at the Big Ten's assortment, some of them make perfect sense. (And before I get angry letters, I could not find ones for Indiana or Northwestern.) To wit: This Brutus Buckeye looks pretty much like the real thing. All this Nittany Lion is missing is his traditional jaunty scarf. Looks like Buckingham Badger, no doubt. Horrifying, yes, but it does look like him. Why Goldy Gopher's image comes up like security camera footage, I'm not sure. I think this is what Herky looks like. Even has the black pants. He's big big big. And he's red red red. And that's how he came to earn the name Big Red. And then there are four that completely make you question what the marketing people were thinking, which is exactly what we did. Please help us decide which of the four of these is the greatest crime...