First of all, know the rules (Reliant Tailgating Rules).
Fees may vary based on how crazy you choose to be. There are essentials for tailgating: Beer, Food, Seating, a football, and some connection other sports that is going on.
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- Beer - Glasses of any sort are hard to transport properly. Demerits will be awarded to those who are seen drinking wine from a glass. No demerits will be granted if it is mysteriously placed within a flask. Those seen carrying a flask are surrounded by intrigue.
- Food - I don't mean casseroles or other pot luck fare. This is a freakin' tailgate, people! BBQ, hot dogs, any kind of wurst, and hamburgers are examples of good taste. A fresh vegetable tray is not an acceptable substitute to chips. Despite any diet that you are one, you will be identified as a girly-man and will be properly laughed at. An excessive condiment display may also earn demerits. Other unacceptable snacks include tofu, anything that says light on the container (besides the Beer), and any form of berries.
- Standing at a tailgate, unless you are waiting for your buddy to throw the football back, is an obvious sign of a tailgating novice. This situation usually occurs when non-tailgaters accidentally arrive early. When these rookies and casual football fans (aka girly-men) are standing around, you may see them admiring your seat a little too closely. It just gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. Remember that the tailgate is for the food, not your ass. Who puts food where their ass has been? DON'T ANSWER THAT!
- OK, so maybe this is a little over the top. You are not required to have a football. But, I always find it better to have one. After all, what if you have flashbacks of your football hey day while watching some other wanna be chunk it around? Telling stories about how great your arm used to be is not nearly as entertaining as showing everyone how much it sucks now. Bring a football! It's hilarious watching overweight, non-athletic men crash into cars.
- When I get tired of watching that, I need some legitimate football. At a minimum, crank up the radio with the most intelligent sports radio station you can locate. With a proper power supply, you can fire up a TV. Get the pre-game show or put on the early game. This will prevent unnecessary talk about wives and children. This is football, not Bunco (If you don't know, don't ask).
Original Story:
http://texanstailgate.blogspot.com/20...
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