Originally posted on The Queensbury Rules  |  Last updated 6/20/12
The United States Congress, which has in recent years has failed to invigorate a moribund economy, reverse a steadily declining educational system or even get a single conviction against former baseball player Roger Clemens on multiple charges despite two trials against him, has now turned its ineffectual attention to boxing.

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., announced on Monday that the next failure for Congress will be cleaning up the beleaguered sport, which is currently reeling from the inexplicable decision rendered in the welterweight megafight between Manny Pacquiao and Timothy Bradley earlier this month.

Reid and McCain introduced legislation in the Senate to create a federal boxing commission, the United States Boxing Commission (USBC), which would theoretically oversee and regulate the sport, were the bill to somehow overcome a bitterly divided and impotent Congress to miraculously pass both the House of Representatives and Senate.

In a speech on the Senate floor, McCain said: “Simply put, this bill would better protect professional boxing from the fraud, corruption, and ineffective regulation that has plagued the sport for too many years, and that has devastated physically and financially many of our nation’s professional boxers.”

Although Congress is intimately familiar with fraud, corruption, and ineffective regulation, not to mention financial devastation, its ability to effectively mitigate any of these malfeasances is highly questionable at best.

With a name that sounds more like a regional sanctioning body title than a legitimate, respectable sports organization, the USBC would ultimately be even more insignificant than one of those aforementioned trinkets, as McCain stressed that the USBC would not “interfere with the daily operations of state and tribal boxing commissions.”

In other words, it wouldn’t really do anything.

“Let there be no doubt… of the very basic and pressing need in professional boxing for a Federal boxing commission,” McCain said. “The establishment of the USBC would address that need.”

Unfortunately, nobody has yet addressed the very basic and pressing need for a commission to oversee Congress.

(The Rabbit Punch is a satirical column. Any persons, events, descriptions, opinions, or insults contained herein are not intended to be taken seriously. You didn’t take this seriously, did you? Seriously? Then send your complaints on Twitter to @SDKraus and await my indifference.)

This article first appeared on The Queensbury Rules and was syndicated with permission.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Several NBA executives have concerns about Lonzo Ball’s father

Kim Mulkey gives awful post-game speech about Baylor scandal

Bill Walton goes shirtless during ESPN broadcast to the dismay of one woman

Sanu: Halftime show played role in Super Bowl collapse

James Dolan is among potential group of investors of new arena for New York Islanders

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: Rams, Clippers discussing NBA venue in Inglewood

Terrence Jones reportedly interested in joining Celtics

LeBron reverses course, says he ‘always felt good’ about Cavs

Report: Ole Miss tried to implicate Mississippi State in football scandal

Jamaal Charles could be on the roster bubble

Jimmy Butler on state of Bulls: ‘I just want to win at all costs’

Top 10 shortstops in baseball for 2017

The most dangerous NBA teams flying under the radar

Eat, Drink, Watch: Your award-worthy weekend planning guide

Grading the NBA trade deadline on the Vince Carter scale

Box Score 2/24: A night of NBA disrespect

As NHL trade deadline nears, seven teams who could be dealing

The 'Pete Rose instead of Kareem? Surely, you can't be serious' quiz

Streaming sports docuseries you don't want to miss

Teams that can prevent a Cavs-Warriors NBA Finals three-peat

The NFL off-season is a passer’s fancy

The Aesthetic: Pushing the boundaries of the three-pointer

NBA coaches who should be fired soon

All Sports News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Top 10 shortstops in baseball for 2017

The most dangerous NBA teams flying under the radar

Eat, Drink, Watch: Your award-worthy weekend planning guide

Grading the NBA trade deadline on the Vince Carter scale

Streaming sports docuseries you don't want to miss

As NHL trade deadline nears, seven teams who could be dealing

The 'Pete Rose instead of Kareem? Surely, you can't be serious' quiz

Teams that can prevent a Cavs-Warriors NBA Finals three-peat

The NFL off-season is a passer’s fancy

QUIZ: Name every MLB pitcher who has recorded 10 or more shutouts in a single season

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker