Originally written on Five Tool Tool  |  Last updated 10/31/14
A bit on the nose 10) Armstrong is prepared to name names, which, given that he's going to name other people who were employed as professional cyclists, really is kind of impressive9) The interview will run on Thursday after happening today, because it takes that many hours to cut together non-lies8) After this, no one will ever be able to wear neoprene rubber bracelets in a non-ironic way again7) The real loser in this fail from grace is testicular cancer, which is definitely going to lose its status as an in vogue cancer6) As a condition of the interview, Armstrong had to give performance enhancing drugs to everyone in the studio audience5) Several Livestrong staff members broke down in tears from the news, in that they were the last people in America who still believed in Armstrong4) Since Armstrong cheated to annoy and defraud the French and cycling fans, it can be argued that this was a victimless crime3) Oprah only agreed to do the interview if Armstrong helped to ruthlessly ...
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