Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 10/23/14
Look at that man. Amazing! Frightening! A total stud, with or without his shirt off! And there are very few people who you can actually say that about. I mean, his nickname is Purple Jesus for Dad's sake. HE'S NICKNAMED AFTER JESUS, or is actually Jesus reincarnate, we haven't really separated the two ideas yet, even after #28's amazing NFL career thus far. So why are we talking about replacing him already? Well, we found someone faster than Adrian Peterson at Vikings training camp this year: DEAR GOD, THAT AMAZING SPEED! What you don't know is that this video (A "Vine" as all the kids I probably hate call it) is actually being replayed at one quarter the actual speed of when it happened. Meaning? Not only did this LITTLE GIRL absolutely demolish Adrian Peterson in a foot race, but she did it handily, and with style. Not even breaking a sweat. And while wearing a wind breaker, which totally must have been slowing her down. Point being, hey, I love Peterson probably more than the next man. I mean, we named a Minnesota Vikings blog after him, yes? But I will be the first person to acknowledge that this dude that just ran for over 2,000 yards is likely not going to live forever (conjecture, 100% on my part, but just roll with me), and so we will need to find a replacement running back for this team eventually. So let's look! Would this new player be found on the current roster? Toby Gerhart? Ha. Uhh ... Likely not. So I'd guess off the team, maybe in the current college or high school ranks, just perfecting their craft and waiting to become a Minnesota Vikings. OR, THE REPLACEMENT RUNNING BACK IS THIS LITTLE GIRL READY TO BREAK FOOTBALL'S GENDER BARRIER AND BECOME THE GREATEST RUNNING BACK EVER! The team should sign her to a future's contract right now. Or whenever she's finished with her juice box. [follow]
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