Classic Card - Shawn Bradley

Here is Shawn Bradley’s best card ever, and this is only the TOP half.

Someone working for Fleer decided that Shawn Bradley needed a basketball card that better suited his 2.29 meter (7-6, hence the #76) extra elongated frame.

So this card came out in 1994, and then Fleer went bankrupt 11 years later. I guess the masses failed to understand the creative genius and hilarity of this oversized card. Or maybe they just didn’t give a shit about this long-armed leather-slapper.

Get ready to do some scrolling…

Shawn Bradley, 1994-95 Fleer NBA Jam Session

When Bradley overheard that Fleer’s new “Jam Session” cards were going to feature only the “tallest, skinniest & whitest” guys in the league, he decided to get as long as possible for a poster of his own. (Note: his shorts end at the bottom of the frame, but his legs extend another 5 feet).

“The 76ers athletic, long-armed, leather-slapper placed 5th in the game in blocked shots.”

I hope you cringed when I said “leather-slapper,” because normally I would never utter such a phrase. (Or maybe I will now as an inside joke: “Josh Smith is a top-notch leather-slapper, so don’t let him fall past the 2nd round”). That’s cool if the guy didn’t want to say shot-blocker, but leather-slapper? How about roundball-rejector or swat-master? Freakishly-long-Mormon-eraser?

As for the “athletic” part, I think we need some video verification. So let’s watch some highlights of Mr. Bradley… getting dunked on (always fun). I found two versions of this video online: one is set to “O.P.P.” by Naughty by Nature, but I’m going with the Turkish Funk version.

Top 10 Dunks on Shawn Bradley

If you like this music, lemme know and I’ll lead you to Egon’s “Turkish Funk” mix that Stones Throw records released awhile back (seriously, it’s got some of the most funky-chill music I’ve ever heard and is fantastic background work music).

My favorite is Robert Pack at #5. Y’all remember how badass Pack-Man was?