An Abortion of Journalism
Hate: 10 Reasons Why I Despise Aaron Heilman
Anyone who can even claim they are a Mets fan knows that Aaron Heilman is singlehandedly responsible for at least 5 Mets losses this year alone. Because bloggers and people who read blogs have ADHD, I wanted to organize my odious thoughts of him into a list format.
1) He went to Notre Dame. Unless you actually attended that school, I can't see how you can like anyone who went there. Heilman, like the program itself, is way overrated.
3) He currently has a 6.67 ERA and a 1.59 WHIP for the 2008 season. I don't really need to justify this one any further.
4) Drafted by the New York Yankees of the 1997 amateur draft, and then drafted by the Twins in 2001. Heilman never ended up signing with either of these teams. That just makes me angry. I can imagine Heilman trying to decide with what
to do and then eventually going with the safe option and staying at school. He pitches like this to. Thinking "oh I'll just go with the mediocre change-up here on a 0-2 count because I don't feel like challenging the hitter, taking a risk or exerting effort".
5) Every time I go to a game at Shea, he comes into the game with a lead and proceeds to blow it for a starting pitcher who could really use a win. For example, I was at the game where Pelfrey finally had a good outing, gave up two runs over 7 innings, Mets lead by one, and Heilman comes in the 8th to give up 4 runs and looking pitiful while doing it.
6) The Mets have lost 8 of the last 10 games that Heilman has appeared in. He has been relegated to mop up duty since he is so pathetically bad, but either way, I am likely in a bad mood when the Mets lose and therefore associate being unhappy when seeing his ugly mug. Oh yeah...
7) His ugly mug. Just peering at his hapless, despondent face increases my anxiety level to a point where I can legally acquire Xanex. Plus he walks like a dude who just lost all his money gambling.
8) You can't buy alcohol when he steps on the mound at Shea Stadium because it is usually the 8th inning and they have stopped serving. I need alcohol to deal with his pitching calamities.
10) Amazingly, he is still on the team. Bottom line, I wouldn't have any ill mannered feelings toward this guy is he didn't come in to every game and give up runs. If he was on say, on another team, or was demoted to triple A, then I could go on expecting the Mets to win when they have a lead late in the game.
Thanks for NYSS partner and fellow Heilman hater, Metstradamus, for the Notre Dame Photo
1) He went to Notre Dame. Unless you actually attended that school, I can't see how you can like anyone who went there. Heilman, like the program itself, is way overrated.
3) He currently has a 6.67 ERA and a 1.59 WHIP for the 2008 season. I don't really need to justify this one any further.
4) Drafted by the New York Yankees of the 1997 amateur draft, and then drafted by the Twins in 2001. Heilman never ended up signing with either of these teams. That just makes me angry. I can imagine Heilman trying to decide with what
to do and then eventually going with the safe option and staying at school. He pitches like this to. Thinking "oh I'll just go with the mediocre change-up here on a 0-2 count because I don't feel like challenging the hitter, taking a risk or exerting effort".5) Every time I go to a game at Shea, he comes into the game with a lead and proceeds to blow it for a starting pitcher who could really use a win. For example, I was at the game where Pelfrey finally had a good outing, gave up two runs over 7 innings, Mets lead by one, and Heilman comes in the 8th to give up 4 runs and looking pitiful while doing it.
6) The Mets have lost 8 of the last 10 games that Heilman has appeared in. He has been relegated to mop up duty since he is so pathetically bad, but either way, I am likely in a bad mood when the Mets lose and therefore associate being unhappy when seeing his ugly mug. Oh yeah...
7) His ugly mug. Just peering at his hapless, despondent face increases my anxiety level to a point where I can legally acquire Xanex. Plus he walks like a dude who just lost all his money gambling.
8) You can't buy alcohol when he steps on the mound at Shea Stadium because it is usually the 8th inning and they have stopped serving. I need alcohol to deal with his pitching calamities.
10) Amazingly, he is still on the team. Bottom line, I wouldn't have any ill mannered feelings toward this guy is he didn't come in to every game and give up runs. If he was on say, on another team, or was demoted to triple A, then I could go on expecting the Mets to win when they have a lead late in the game.
Thanks for NYSS partner and fellow Heilman hater, Metstradamus, for the Notre Dame Photo
Tags: aaron, blows, dame, hate, heilman, mets, notre, reasons, sick and tired, sucks
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Wani on
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what about the fact that every time he comes into the game with a lead you get the sickening feeling in your stomach that something terrible is going to happen, kinda like watching a monkey drives a bus full of special needs kids, and yes dave, reason #1 is the most compelling of your points
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Permalink Reply by Johnny Mirehiel on
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You just don't lie Catholics.
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Permalink Reply by Nick France on -
Yet, Willie goes to him night after night. Even my 9 year-old son freaks when he goes in.
Sid Finch said it best:
I know Aaron Heilman can’t be trusted under pressure. I’m no statistician, but if I looked it up I’d bet you dollars to donuts that Aaron has choked more often than not in big spots. I am not resorting to hyperbole here—I’m talking more than 50% of the time. I have gotten into the habit of calling my wife over to the t.v. every time Heilman comes in the game, waving my hands at the screen and shouting, “Abracadabra! Base hit!” As I’m right almost every time, my wife literally thinks I’m wielding some form of dark magic.
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