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20 Ways to Die Trying to Dunk a Basketball
I’ve always admired people that could dunk a basketball, but the only thing more triumphant than throwing down a tomahawk slam is having 20,000 people see you fail at doing it. These are the 20 of the stupidest, death defying, nonathletic slam dunk attempts in the history of mankind. From getting your leg stuck in the rim, to having your chest caved in by the backboard, these people attempted to reach the stars . . . only to be brought back to the ground. Hard. Some of you will laugh (I know I did for most of them). Some of you will cringe, and some of you will cry. Either way, there is some success in these epic fails: they caught them on tape.
1. Dunking on ice. Sure it would make a great musical, but attempting it in real life is just stupid.
2. Dunking on trampoline. Although they bring joy to millions, they also break many arms and hearts. For this kid, getting his leg through the rim must have been a goal.
3. Goals without breakaway rims. The breakaway rims were invented for a reason: so you don’t die. Hanging on them is probably not a great idea.
4. Dunking on a shaking goal. If the goal is rockin’, don’t go dunkin.
5. Off your friend’s back. If your friend is a sub 150 lb emo kid with a lip ring and no spine, you probably don’t want to use him as a pedestal to achieve your dreams of dunking.
6. Chugging a beer and spinning (with a bat at your forehead). This guy must have been hammered to begin with, because he doesn’t even understand the concept of spinning around a bat. Absolutely my favorite dunking mishap.
7. Not practicing for an NBA dunk competition. This guy was simply owned.
8. Being Shaq’s fat ass. Honestly, when did hanging on the rim seem like a good idea for a NBA player that closely resembles a half witted dump truck?
9. Being emo and white. This kid had fail written all over him . . . probably through means of razorblades.
10. Being European and white. Note to self: hot girls don’t want your balls in their mouth when you’re trying to dunk over them. This guy wasn’t even close.
11. Dunking on a too low rim. Lowering the rim to dunk is an acceptable practice for kids. But when you can actually jump, then you deserve to suffer a stage 3 hypertonic malnufificus cerebellum concussion.
12. Jumping too high. If you’re going to jump off a trampoline at full speed, remember where the backboard is.
13. Pissing someone off and then dunking. I had one rule in high school basketball: to never get dunked on. I did it mostly by hacking the crap out of them with a foul I called “the club”. This kid sucked at the club and the breakaway was ruined.
14. No weights on the goal. This is definitely a Darwin Award nominee. In the words of J. Walter Weatherman, “And that’s why you never eat lead paint chips”.
15. Trying a double front flip dunk. If you suck at gymnastics, you will probably kill yourself trying to combine it with a dunk.
16. Being a husky kid. The clip only lasts 6 seconds, but it is probably my favorite dunk fail. The commentary is only a few words, but magnificent. Also, his description of the video: “I Was trying to dunk but then I was up and the ball didnt go in so i fell.” So honest, so brave, so freaking hilarious.
17. Off THREE people’s backs. As stated earlier, jumping off one back is stupid. Multiply that by 27 then divide by nine and you will know that jumping off three people’s by makes you 3Xs stupider.
18. Being foreign and jumping off a park bench. The two just don’t go together . . . they never do.
19. Wearing a Bill Cosby sweater and jumping off an unstable chair. There really are no words for this one.
20. Dunking near a Duke basketball player (specifically Paulus). If the reDEEM team makes one flop in their Olympic run, I will refuse to watch again. We’re Americans and we jump OVER floppers and Europeans (i.e., Vince Carter in the 2000 Olympics). The only thing more dangerous than a horrible athlete coming up with creative ways to reach the rim is the athlete throwing his body in front of an airborne opponent. That’s right Duke and Paula . . . while the other 19 dunk attempts ended horribly, absolutely nothing is more embarrassing than a pansy flop. Or perhaps a cup of Green-tea?
- Sincerely,
The UNC Alum that watched Reddick and Paula flop for four years.
July 30th, 2008 at 9:23 am
20 Ways to Die Trying to Dunk a Basketball…
A pretty hilarious way to start a Wednesday - well worth the watch. Come on, everyone has tried to dunk before, but how many of you have lowered the backboard only to face plant against that aluminum rim mid flight?…
July 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
This post is awesome. I never actually Laugh Out Loud, but this one had me going the whole time through the videos. #2 made me laugh the most.
I think the first video of Paulus was a decent attempt at taking a charge, but he was too far under the basket. The second was bullshit though.
Nice post!
July 30th, 2008 at 11:52 am
A beautiful compilation. Thank you.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
20 ways to die bored- watching your youtube clips that never play
July 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Outstanding work! #6 is brillinat. It looked like he tried to cartwheel into the garbage can
July 30th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
#11 FTW… I was laughing so hard I cried for about a minute straight… awesome list!
July 30th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
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July 30th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
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July 31st, 2008 at 4:34 am
Oh my god… That kid on the trampoline must have torn all sorts of ligaments in his knee…
July 31st, 2008 at 7:30 am
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July 31st, 2008 at 9:29 am
duke sucks…deron washington is the man..paulus now knows what deron’s balls taste like
July 31st, 2008 at 10:27 am
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July 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
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July 31st, 2008 at 3:08 pm
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July 31st, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Great list. I was just thinking about doing a list like this on my site.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:24 pm
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August 1st, 2008 at 1:25 am
[...] When Dunking Goes Wrong The Most Hilarious Collection of Sports Related Videos Ever. [...]
August 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I have sympathy for these people since I failed my own attempt a few days ago. Unfortunately, it was not filmed because it probably was pretty funny. Try double clutch dunking on an eight foot rim when regular dunking is barely attainable for you. haha
August 5th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
lol i love them! nice work
August 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
wow. these are hysterical.
August 8th, 2008 at 2:01 am
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August 14th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Always good to read about Basketball, my ex was of olympic standards..
Can I ask though - how did you get this picked up and into google news?
Very impressive, is it something that is just up to Google or you actively created?
Obviously this is a popular blog with great data so well done on your seo success..
August 14th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
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September 22nd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
nice work, man
September 28th, 2008 at 7:47 am
favorited this one, guy
November 5th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
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November 22nd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Seriously some of the funniest dunk videos ever…. Nice compilation!