DATELINE: HUMOR! The Red Sox and New England Patriots look more like “Cowboy down” this week. In 2003 Kevin Millar led the Red Sox clubhouse to a World Series win with the country-western song “Cowboy Up!” In those days so long ago, the Texas cowboy mentality came to Boston and charmed the pants off the staid Beacon Hill dowagers. In 2011 the Texas cowboys (Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, John Lackey, and Clay Buchholz) came up with “Hell, yeah, I Like Beer.” And therein is the punch to the beer keg. One Red Sox team with Texas rodeo blood played its heart out and went on to capture fame, fortune, and even a movie called Fever Pitch. The recent debacle with bloodless Red Sox proved the team has no heart and has captured infamy, depression, and a movie called The Thing! Yes, another remake from seasons ago. Now to drive the point home, the ultimate team, America’s team, the team of Texas longhorns and oil magnates, comes to Foxboro to play the Patriots on Sunday. Perhaps it is time for the Belichick-driven team to take down the Texas Two-Step types like Beckett, Lackey and Lester. Those guys hate Boston more than the Dallas Cowboys. When fans questioned the 2003 team for its toughness, Millar proved only idiots never worried. “Cowboy Up” went into the lexicon of Bostonian history. Alas, the latest tune, “I Like Beer,” seems ready to hold up the other end of Boston history. The Red Sox have become the Red Necks. If the boorish cowboy mentality of Josh Beckett is not your cup of tea, you may find Tony Romo’s teabagging with more appeal. The latest incarnation of “Cowboy Up” will upset Patriot fans to no end when someone reads the score with that inflection. We feel Boston fans can relax. If anyone can beat down the beer-swilling reputation of Texas cowpunchers in Boston, it is dandy Tom Brady and his faithful companion Welkah. They are symbols of law and order. We need those Minutemen of football to fire the shot heard round Fenway Park and dispatch the dastardly Texas contingent that has highjacked the Red Sox. Thank heavens football unlocked their big guns. The unlocked NFL is loaded. If not, Boston would be facing a season from hell to Texas. William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!