Patriots Paul Revere and Tom Brady.

DATELINE: HUMOR!

The super Patriot of 21^st century has found the super patriot of 1776 did not ride by his fancy Beacon Street house to announce the Jets were coming.

The lovely townhouse residence in the middle of historic Boston was nowhere near the route taken by Paul Revere to get out of town fast one night in 1776. Tom was also shocked to learn that Paul Revere rode north to Lexington, not south to Foxboro.

Tom Brady originally thought that George Washington had slept there in the spare bedroom, and the possibility made him a better Patriot.

Now Brady’s dream house in Brentwood is nearing completion and makes this Beantown bachelor pad look like a foreclosure on the northside of Las Vegas.

Tom Brady is trying to unload his white elephant of a mansion on Beacon Street in Boston. The property has been listed at fire sale price of $10.5 million.

Something must be rotten in Boston because this is the second time the happily wedded superstars Tom and Giselle have tried to move out of this oversized crib.

The master bedroom features the usual his and her dressing rooms and a bathtub in which you may dock the Queen Mary. There are also separate vanities for those whose vanity is so strong that they need to be isolated from the other half.

The modest home is actually a greystone amid brownstones, which was the popular home living in the 19^th century.

Alas, the house features poor onstreet parking, and if you are not careful, some fool will run a stoplight nearby and collide into your leased gift car.

Whether noise or proximity to bars is leading to Tom’s decision to take his hausfrau out the neighborhood could be related to the infestation of college students that frequent the area.

Mortgage payments must be eating up Tom because he is now lowering the asking price to $10.5 million, down a half mill from a lack of interest.

No offer will be overlooked, and no word has been offered on where Tom and Gisele may open their next local digs. After Manny Ramirez left the neighborhood several years ago, the neighborhood hasn’t amounted to a hill of beans in Beantown.

William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!