DATELINE: HUMOR! The national nightmare for Red Sox Nation has only gotten worse. A Watergate-style scandal now besets the Red Sox. We need to know who Theo’s men are. The latest debate is the identity of Deep Throat! Who is the snitch that knows the whole story behind the debacle? We expect Josh Beckett to come forth, hold a press conference and shout, “I am not a crook! I never quit.” We expect Jon Lester to cry out, “When the going gets tough, the Red Sox expect more bribes from the owners.” We expect media radio blabmeisters to ask the exacting question, “What did you know and when did you know it?” We expect that Terry Francona went to Theo Epstein as some point and said, “Theo, there is a cancer on your administration.” We expect that Lucchino and Werner, part owners of the Sox, will be exposed as the H.R. Haldemann and Donald Rumsfeld of the John W. Henry group. If you remember the Saturday Night Massacre in Washington, you know this ranks up there with that with Youkilis and Ortiz among the burglars who robbed Tito Francona of his pennant and job. Some Sox fans may believe that wiping out the entire team may be the only solution. Can we impeach Beckett, Lester, and Lackey? We expect that a subpoena will expose that John Henry had a taping system on his yacht, S.S. Iroquis. Confirmation and more has come down that the entire Red Sox starting rotation literally gave up on their team in September. Drinking beer, playing video games, and filling their pie-holes with fried chicken during games has been revealed. They quit on the ownership that desperately tried to bribe them with fancy headphones and a party on John Henry’s yacht two weeks before the season ended. Terry Francona has also been thrown under the bus while in the Fox Sports spotlight. Francona’s physical problems caused him to use pain medication, hinting that he overused the prescriptions. On Friday night after he was released, fired, quit on the Red Sox, Terry Francona went out on the town to the toney Red Lantern, a high living nightspot in Boston. While there with a drinking companion, Terry could have had an embarrassing meeting with John W. Henry and his wife, but the two men who won two World Series ignored each other. Yes, Tito Francona and John Henry never said a word to each other in the restaurant. By-standers thought it awkward and indicated deeper resentment. When Theo Epstein takes another job, the tight-lipped watchers and witnesses will spill their proverbial guts over the immature and countryclub atmosphere of the Red Sox. We have returned to the thrilling days of yesteryear, Sox Nation, when 25 players were individuals, not a team. Take a neutron bomb to Fenway because no one can be cured from this plague. William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!