Originally posted on The Sports Bank  |  Last updated 10/11/11

Can’t leave college football alone the game needs me. Biggee Smalls once said that he raps about the ghetto because that’s what he knows. And…”if I worked at McDonald’s I’d be rapping about Big Macs and fries.”

You write and talk about what you know and live. And I know Big Ten football. “Banks is chilling, what more can I say, we killing ‘em.” Enjoy the lyrics quote from each artist at the end. It links to that specific song.

1.) #4 wisconsin-badgers/”>Wisconsin Badgers = Jay-Z (5-0, 1-0)

Who else is doing it all like this? A complete enterprise that has “the rap (college football) game in a choke hold.”

“You think this is a tall order, this is nothing to me. Difficult takes a day, impossible to takes a week.”

2.) #11 Michigan Wolverines = Eminem (6-0, 2-0)

Detroit based franchise with glory days that are mostly behind them. But they seem to be getting relevant again. Even though everyone seems to think they’re possibly overrated.

“And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am.”

3.) #16 Illinois Fighting Illini = Dr. Dre (6-0, 2-0)

You forget they exist most years, but when they have a big year, they really have a BIG YEAR. The Dr. has The Chronic (1993) and Chronic 2001 (released in 1999). This decade, the Illini made the BCS in ’01 and ’07, and just one winning season outside of those years .

“Black Rockefeller, hella swiss or mozzarella. pockets swella. getting money like a bank teller.”

 4.) #14 Nebraska Cornhuskers = Common (5-1, 1-1)

The world’s best vegetarian MC synergized with a team named after corn? I might be stretching on this one. At least the quote applies to Bo Pelini.

“They say “life is a game,” so I play hard Writin for my life cause I’m scared of a day job”

5.) #23 Michigan State Spartans = D12 (4-1, 1-0)

There’s talent, substance and grittiness here; also a massive chip on their shoulder. Mostly because they’ll always be compared to you-know-who. It doesn’t help that the person is so close to them. And since 90% of what State girls talk about is getting wasted (at least the ones I knew, and the grads here), the song choice is…

“High off chronic Gin and tonic demonic Body smelt like vomit”

6.) Penn State Nittany Lions (5-1, 2-0) = Snoop Dogg

Always around and relevant, but never on top of the game anymore- Not these days. Joe Paterno is the godfather of college football. Snoop’s the Doggfather of rap.

“We’ll head to the hills, your dreams I’ll fulfill. We could do it how you want, cause I’m oh so real”

7.) Ohio State Buckeyes (3-3, 0-2) = Kanye West

So loved. So hated. Their hubris is the source/cause of their polarization. Sometimes they can get away with believing the rules don’t apply to them. Sometimes they can’t.

“I’m a let ya finish, but the tattoo scandal was the greatest college football scandal of all time!”

You knew I was going to use “when it all falls down” for OSU. “the people highest up have the lowest self esteem…the prettiest people do the ugliest things.

8.) Iowa Hawkeyes (3-2, 0-1) = Coolio

Everyone can appreciate them when they’re on their game. Had some legal troubles in 2010. Stemming from controlled substances.

“1-2-3-4 it’s like A-B-C if hip-hop didn’t pay I’d rap for free” (Yes, I know he’s rockin a Michigan not Iowa jersey in this video. so be it.

9.) Northwestern Wildcats (2-3, 0-2)= Lupe Fiasco

Chicago based outfit, with solid fundamentals but they’ll never achieve large sold-out stadium status. The thinking man’s choice- which also unfortunately keeps them from making it bigger.

“they’re starting to think that smart is cool, Lu. Dumb it Down! You’ll sell more records if you “dumb it down!”

10) Purdue Boilermakers (3-2, 1-0) = Paperboy

Had some good times in the 90s, but haven’t really been talked about since.


“But let me speak for the weak, I mean the rookies My time is held up, extremely for cookies”

 11.) Indiana Hoosiers (1-5, 0-2)= Bluff Daddy, Chris Rock’s parody of Puff Daddy, in his 1997 send-up of Bad Boy Entertainment “Champagne.”

Utterly laughable. Not to be taken seriously by FBS opponents

“I drink Champagne in my car. higgy higgy haw higgy higgy haw…I drink champagne when I hustle, I drink champagne with Nipsy Russell, I drink champage in the hood, I drink champagne with Tiger Woods. It’s all good y’all Tiger Woods y’all.”

12.) Minnesota Golden Gophers = LMFAO (1-5, 0-2)

Very little substance and talent. Almost all success is only due to flukiness, kitsch, and general silliness.

“Girl look at that body. I work out. Girl look at that body.”

 Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, an official Google News site that generates millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports

He’s appeared on live radio all across the world from Houston to New Zealand. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too

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