Originally written on Shirts With Random Triangles  |  Last updated 11/17/14
(Buckingham U. Badger, mascot of the University of Wisconsin, Freudian nightmare incarnate, and third cousin of Dread Chuthulu (once removed), responds to the recent hire by Arkansas of former Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema.) Ah, Mister Bielema. You managed to somehow escape from my servitude. No matter, per the terms of our agreement your soul will belong to me for the next 100,000 years to do with as I will. And I have a truly creative mind for pain and suffering, no? Oh, how inconsiderate of me. I must congratulate you on your new position at - what is it now, the University of Arkansas? What a delightful oxymoron! I see it has classes not available at our fine institution. Of course, we have no need for a class called "Introduction to Indoor Plumbing 101" here at the University of Wisconsin, as the fine students of this state learn of those kind of things even before they undergo any formal education. Did you truly feel that your unexpected betrayal would not go u...
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