Not all bowls are created equal. Sometimes you get some complete duds that make you think this whole "with bowl games, everybody wins" line is a load of dung, and sometimes, well, sometimes it's like those Christmas cookies with the Hershey's kiss on the top.So what do we have this year, cookies or cow patties? Here's a look at all 34 bowl games, purely based on The Señior's own narrow-minded philosophies 1) Will I watch 2) If I do, will I have to be completely drunk to stay interested?
1. Alabama vs. Texas, BCS National Championship Game. Two undefeated teams, two storied programs. There's the off chance that it could turn into the SEC title game Part II, where the Crimson Tide completely dominate a one-dimensional offense and punish a big-name QB (Colt McCoy) ... but consider the fingers crossed that the season doesn't end with a dud.
The Pick: Alabama
2. TCU vs. Boise State: Fiesta. Did the BCS make a mockery of the system by pitting these two non-automatic qualifiers against each other by stranding them together in the desert? Maybe, but it has the potential to be the best game of the postseason with the nation's best defense vs. it's highest-scoring offense.
The Pick: TCU
3. Ohio State vs. Oregon: Rose. 2-9, that's the Big Ten's record during its oft-publicized BCS rut. Can the Buckeyes finally end that skid? Well, at least this time they're not playing an SEC team. It's strength vs. strength as Jeremiah Masoli and the Ducks potent offense try to crack Ohio State's defense.
The Pick: Ohio State
4. Florida vs. Cincinnati: Sugar. Tim Tebow's swan song isn't what he expected when he came back to the Gators and he'll have to deal with a Bearcats team that will be obsessed to show Brian Kelly made a monumental mistake by leaving.
The Pick: Cincinnati
5. Georgia Tech vs. Iowa: Orange. Another strength vs. strength clash as the Yellow Jackets triple-option faces Kirk Ferentz's nasty Hawkeyes defense. GT's biggest problem has been with physical fronts, which is exactly what Iowa has. If this comes down to the Hawkeyes offense vs. GT's defense, can a rusty Ricky Stanzi deliver?
The Pick: Georgia Tech
6. Miami vs. Wisconsin: Champs Sports. There isn't a more contrasting clash of styles than the Hurricanes with Jacory Harris and their wide-open offense and the Badgers run-heavy attack led by Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year John Clay. The winner should be a Top 10 team in 2010.
The Pick: Wisconsin
7. Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee: Chick-fil-A. Can the Hokies make it 0-3 in Atlanta this season? All I'm saying is that the Vols are strong against the run and have the nation's best corner in Eric Berry, who can make Tyrod Taylor's night a living hell.
The Pick: Tennessee
8. Penn State vs. LSU: Capital One. Two teams that overachieved and were exposed by their conference's elite. But this game does have one of the best matchups with the Tigers defense vs. Daryll Clark and the PSU offense. Also, they need a microphone when Joe Paterno and Les Miles meet postgame.
The Pick: Penn State
9. Florida State vs. West Virginia: Gator. Bobby Bowden's finale is sure to be a tear-filled event with tons of flashback video and goodbyes from Seminoles of years gone bye. The only real questions are 1) Can the 'Noles slow down Noel Devine 2) Will the up-and-down FSU offense show up?
The Pick: West Virginia
10. Ole Miss vs. Oklahoma State: Cotton Bowl. The Rebels fell way short of their preseason expectations, while the Cowboys couldn't live up to their own talent level. Should be a perfect eruption for those who enjoy unfulfilled potential.
The Pick: Ole Miss
11. BYU vs. Oregon State: Las Vegas. You have the love the pairing of the Mormon Nation and the Vegas Strip. Talk about your oxymor(m)ons. The Beavers have the dynamic Rodgers Bros., but will the team be up for this one after missing out on the Rose Bowl?
The Pick: BYU
12. North Carolina vs. Pitt: Meineke Car Care. Funny, isn't it, that we've reached the point in college football where we marvel at the novelty of having two pro-style offenses on the same field? For those not acquainted with Dion Lewis, there will be no excuse after this one.
The Pick: North Carolina
13. Georgia vs. Texas A&M: Independence. Funny, isn't if that we've reached the point where the Bulldogs can have a down year and people are calling for Mark Richt's head in the Peach State? That's the way it goes when Florida is on top of the world and Tennessee seems like it's on the way up. The Dawgs can remind its fanbase they still matter by thumping a team from the Big 12.
The Pick: Georgia
14. Arizona vs. Nebraska: Holiday. The Ndamukong Suh bandwagon has grown considerably since the Big 12 Championship Game performance. Think the Wildcats have seen enough of his highlights to realize their best option is to triple team him?
The Pick: Nebraska
15. Stanford vs. Oklahoma: Sun. The Cardinal's Holy Trinity of John Harbaugh, Andrew Luck and Toby Gerhart take on Gerald McCoy and one of the nation's best defenses in the Sooners.
The Pick: Stanford
16. Air Force vs. Houston: Armed Forces. It's certainly not the destination Case Keenum and the Cougars probably had in mind when they were seemingly BCS-bound, but it should be a showcase for the likely NFL-bound star QB.
The Pick: Houston
17. Northwestern vs. Auburn: Outback. Expect nearly 1,000 yards of offense and at least 80 combined points between these two spread offenses. Pat Fitzgerald and Gene Chizik should also be good for a few scowls.
The Pick: Auburn
18. Kentucky vs. Clemson: Music City. Rich Brooks has made history in leading the Wildcats to their fourth straight bowl game, but it's unlikely UK will have any answer for this year's biggest Heisman snub, C.J. Spiller.
The Pick: Clemson
19. East Carolina vs. Arkansas: Liberty. The C-USA champs have pulled down 17 interceptions this season, but will they have their hands full against 2010 Heisman contender Ryan Mallett?
The Pick: Arkansas
20. South Florida vs. Northern Illinois: International. Am I pumping this up too much? Likely. I mean, how many Bulls fans are actually going to make the trip from sunny Florida to Toronto? But the Huskies aren't as bad as being the fourth-best team in the MAC would make you think.
The Pick: South Florida
21. Utah vs. California: Poinsettia. The Bears aren't as dynamic without Jahvid Best, but they still have plenty of offense. The only real question is whether their defense can manage to slow down a better-than-you-think Utes attack.
The Pick: Utah
22. USC vs. Boston College: Emerald. A little low? Maybe. But how do we know the Trojans will even be up for this game after playing in seven straight BCS bowls? My guess is USC can sleepwalk to a win and we'll be dozing off while they do it. Snoozer.
The Pick: USC
23. Minnesota vs. Iowa State: Insight. The Golden Gophers aren't the same team without all-world wide out Eric Decker, but that's not a bad thing. One Big Ten defensive coordinator told me they're actually better without him.
The Pick: Minnesota
24. Michigan State vs. Texas Tech: Alamo. The consensus is that with eight players suspended this won't be much of a game. Lest we forget the Red Raiders' ability to implode in bowl games? That could at least keep this interesting.
The Pick: Texas Tech
25. SMU vs. Nevada: Hawaii. June Jones is making his return to Honolulu and he told me he's told the Hawaii equipment manager exactly where he wants everything. Familiar surroundings will give him the edge against an Wolf Pack offense that's predictable if you have time to prepare for it, which SMU does.
The Pick: SMU.
26. South Carolina vs. UConn: Papajohns.com. The only bowl game named after the Web site of a pizza chain gets a matchup that has potential but could well be a rout. UConn's running game won't have much room to operate vs. a good Gamecocks' D.
The Pick: South Carolina
27. Missouri vs. Navy: Texas. The Tigers have been better than predicted on defense and offensively have an underrated star in Danario Alexander. It's all about how the Mizzou D preps for the triple-option. With tons of time to get ready for it, this could get ugly.
The Pick: Missouri
28. Rutgers vs. UCF: St. Petersburg. The Scarlet Knights lead the nation in turnover margin and are fifth in sacks. Did I mention those are the Knights' strengths too? It's all about controlling the line of scrimmage. It won't be pretty, but it will be competitive.
The Pick: Rutgers
29. Bowling Green vs. Idaho: Humanitarian. Freddie Barnes didn't get enough love this season. The Falcons star WR will change that as he torches the Vandals to end the MAC's bowl skid.
The Pick: Bowling Green
30. Middle Tennesse State vs. Southern Miss: New Orleans. The dynamic Golden Eagles attack with Darion Fletcher vs. the fast-paced Tony Franklin offense of MTSU. Could be determined by who has the ball last. But will anyone watch?
The Pick: MTSU
31. Troy vs. Central Michigan: GMAC. Dan LeFevour is the all-time NCAA leader in career touchdowns. It's just too bad that his send-off will be in Mobile against an opponent that won't put up much of a fight.
The Pick: Central Michigan
32. UCLA vs. Temple: EagleBank. The last time that the Owls were relevant, it was because Bill Cosby was sporting one of their sweatshirts on the Cosby Show. The Bruins, let us not forget, are only playing in this game because Army couldn't get bowl eligible. Temple will cap its return to prominence with a bowl win.
The Pick: Temple
33. Wyoming vs. Fresno State: New Mexico. The Bulldogs have one of the nation's leading rushers in Ryan Mathews, but it's hard to imagine Fresno really getting up for this game. Meanwhile, the Cowboys are more than happy to sneak in and end Dave Christensen's debut season with a victory.
The Pick: Wyoming
34. Ohio vs. Marshall: Little Caesars. There's little to get excited about when a MAC school plays a former MAC school in a matchup that will be renewed starting in the 2010 season. But at least it's giving a small boost to the Detroit economy.
The Pick: Marshall
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