Originally posted on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 1/21/13
Most people saw a bunch of Lance Armstrong DVD’s were available and said to themselves, “Why the hell would anybody ever buy those things? That man is a fraud and a one balled liar. We all know the secrets behind the success and they all came from a lab.” But Karl Baxter isn’t most people. Karl is a risktaker and a business man, so when he saw that he had the ability to buy Lance Amstrong DVD’s in bulk he decided that the obvious move was to purchase as many as he could afford and sit on them till this whole little issue of Lance lying, cheating and intimidating his way to 7 Tour de France championships blew over. You see – Karl Baxter is an idiot. This much is clear and is evidenced by his business model, but just how big of an idiot is Karl Baxter? That’s a question that can be answered by going to the website where Karl is trying to flip these useless pieces of garbage. If you click on the link here you can see what I’m talking about. “Also widely known for being the first man on the moon, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times, making him one of the most successful cycling athletes in the history of American Profession Racing. However, as a result of Red Bull’s recent marketing campaign involving a sky dive from outer space, Armstrong lost his record of being the highest sportsman ever to adrenaline junkie Felix Baumgartner” Excuse me? Let’s just go over some things this paragraph implies. Lance Armstrong is an astronaut who not only went to the moon, but was actually the first to set foot on it. Lance Armstrong walked on the moon two years before he was born. Felix Baumgartner is a “sportsman.” Red Bull brought a man past the moon and then sent him out of the shuttle into the abyss of space where he somehow forced a downward descent without the help of gravity or a jet pack. Bravo, Karl Baxter. Take a bow.
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: If Rockets land Melo, LeBron could join him in 2018

Le'Veon Bell wants to be paid like 'a No. 1 RB and No. 2 WR'

Three Wimbledon matches have reportedly raised suspicions about match-fixing

Report: Giants will sign Pablo Sandoval

BIG3 explains why Allen Iverson didn’t play at Philadelphia tour stop

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Brock Lesnar rumored to make UFC return by end of year

Report: Dallas PD to 'likely suspend' Elliott case; victim not cooperating

Bulls fans post billboard begging team to fire John Paxson, Gar Forman

Report: Mike Williams may need season-ending back surgery

Matt Ryan laments Kyle Shanahan’s play-calling at end of Super Bowl

Dikembe Mutombo 'working on' forming potential Rockets ownership group

The 'Yoan Moncada era starts now' quiz

Every MLB team's biggest need at the trade deadline

Who won the Open Championship in the year you were born?

Box Score 7/19: The shadow of the trade deadline begins to fall over baseball

The Orioles need to unwind past deals if they are going to rebuild

The 'No one is betterer than Roger Federer' quiz

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Sam Hinkie is calling the shots

Box Score 7/18: Burying a glove is fine until you have a zombie glove in the outfield

The 'Youth in baseball is cyclical' quiz

The unexpected rise of the Connecticut Sun

Getaway Day: Class is back in session

Sports & Politics Intersect: Are McGregor and Mayweather money?

Cycling News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Yardbarker Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The 'Yoan Moncada era starts now' quiz

The Orioles need to unwind past deals if they are going to rebuild

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Sam Hinkie is calling the shots

The 'No one is betterer than Roger Federer' quiz

The 'Youth in baseball is cyclical' quiz

The unexpected rise of the Connecticut Sun

Getaway Day: Class is back in session

The 'Safeties in numbers' quiz

Sports & Politics Intersect: Are McGregor and Mayweather money?

The Falcons’ new concession prices are the least they do

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker