George Lucas Must Be Stopped

Like a lot of kids growing up in the 70s/80s, I lived for Star Wars. I had every toy and knew the movies by heart. They were an integral part of my childhood. Mom and dad assured me that by brushing my teeth and eating my vegetables, I could help Luke and Han defeat the Empire and blow up the Death Star. It worked. Twice. To this day, if I could build a lightsaber, I would. A not insignificant part of me feels a deep, ingrained gratitude to George Lucas for bringing me so much childhood happiness. I owe him a BJ. Having said all that…Lucas needs to be frozen in carbonite. Immediately. According to an article posted on EW.com, Lucas intends to bring back Darth Maul for the Cartoon Network’s series Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Um…what? When we last saw Darth Maul, he had been chopped in half by Obi Wan Kenobi. Moreover, his 7-10 split body was plummeting from a great height to a presumably not too soft landing. Unless there was a Sleep Number mattress down there set at level...