Broad Street Buttwipe

I have a riddle for everyone: What's Red and Lanky, and peppered all over........ Cole Hamels.  Supposed to be our best arm, Cole Hamels is nothing better than a middle of the rotation pitcher this season.
Last year I blogged about Brett Myers and how terrible he had been to start the season.  He was subsequently sent down to fix things and came back up to the bigs looking like the million dollar man. I was hoping for the same kind of reverse black cat in my latest damning comments regarding Hamels' flopping fish-like performance this season.  He's 4-4, 4.44 ERA, opposition hitting .302 and after tonight's shellacking by the Braves his ERA stands to hit close to 5.
Myers is again on the shelf this season and we haven't taken steps towards acquiring any kind of defense to maintain our chances of fulfilling the still rabid hunger raging within philly phaithful.  I don't want to sound like the harbinger of doom, but Rodrigo Lopez is scheduled to take the mound for the Phills on Friday night.  Here's where it gets a little spooky. Lopez finished up his 2007 campaign with the Orioles of Balteemoreeee (alias; laughing stock of the AL East) with the same cruddy ERA now garnered by Hamels : 4.44.  If this isn't already bad enough information for the readers of this blog, Lopez hasn't played in the pros in almost two seasons.  His 2006 ERA was 5.90 and his 2005 ERA - 4.91 and in seven major league seasons, Lopez has a ghastly 4.80 career ERA.  To state what's on everyone's mind at this point, I'd just like to say, what kind of juice are we expecting to sqeeze out of this baseball yam?!
Jimmy Rollins forgetting how to play baseball, Brett Myers fulfilling the tumultuously characteristic definition that is his career, Raul Ibanez still absent from the lineup, and now Hamels evidencing himself to be an overstated number 1 starter wannabe, have all contributed to a choral groan at home games in Citizen's Bank Park this season.  The team's front office has responded by adding Paul Bako and benching a struggling Rollins (the cure for a guy who isn't hitting??).  Get a clue Ruben Amaro. We want a pitcher not a belly itcher. Sorry everyone, but I am not above that at this point.