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NPhillyBirdman Placard_complete_small
NPhillyBirdman
October 22, 2009

IT'S MCNABB RULES FOOTBALL!

Hey, you! Tired of BORING, OLD SCHOOL NFL football? Sick of pointless and arbitrary roolz like touchdowns being worth only six points, and teams not getting their full complement of 37 timeouts per half? THEN GET READY TO JOIN THE MCNABB RULES REVOLUTION! With Eagles quarterback and former “Biggest Loser” champion Donovan McNabb! His new McNabb Rules Football spinoff game is the hottest new sports innovation since Slamball!

Donovan: I wanted to design a new school football game that would appeal to fans in today’s fast-paced world. I wanted a game that kept the spirit of original football, but one that was FAIRER. That’s why I developed these news rules for my McNabb Rules Football League, and I think you’ll agree that they represent a vast improvement over your traditional NFL product.

AND THEY ARE! CHECK OUT THESE JAMMIN’ NEW ROOLZ THAT MAKE OLD FOGY NFL FOOTBALL LOOK STUPID AND GAY!

OLD RULE: Bounces passes: ILLEGAL

MCNABB RULE: Bounces passes: LEGAL. Quarterback credited with assist.

Donovan Says: “In basketball, the point guard is applauded when he executes a crisp, fundamentally sound bounce pass. I don’t know why we can’t have the same rule in football. It seems like it would really work.”

OLD RULE: Only two challenges per game

MCNABB RULE: Unlimited challenges!

Donovan Says: “Coach Reid said he would challenge every play if he could. Even if it’s obvious on replay that the call was not in your favor, it’s still worth challenging the play on the off chance the officials decide to overturn it. You never know what they’ll see. Matt Millen agrees with me on this.”

OLD RULE: Ties!

MCNABB RULE: No ties! Overtime winner chosen based on dignity!

Donovan Says: “If you played a game to a virtual standstill, I think that the winner should be chosen by a blue ribbon panel of some of our greatest thinkers. I think showing dignity in the face of adversity, and withering and totally unjustified fan criticism, should be worth something. I try and keep an air of dignity and nobility out there on the field. I’m hoping one day it will land me a supporting role in a Clint Eastwood film of some sort.

OLD RULE: Field goals worth three points

MCNABB RULE: TBD!

Donovan Says: “To be frank, I didn’t realize that field goals were worth that much. I thought you got an extra fifth down on the next series if you made one, which makes FAR more sense. Truth to tell, I’m not quite sure how to go about rectifying this one. I think Andy and I will have to get together and discuss this in further detail, preferably during the last four minutes of a game.”

OLD RULE: No rainbows on the field!

MCNABB RULE: DOUBLE RAINBOWS!

Donovan Says: “I just think people wouldn’t get as worked up over the game if they saw a nice double rainbow out there.”

OLD RULE: 25 yards passing, 10 yards rushing or receiving worth 0 points

MCNABB RULE: Worth 1 point!

Donovan Says: “That’s how it works in fantasy football. People really seem to enjoy fantasy football.”

OLD RULE: Wildcat formation: LEGAL

MCNABB RULE: Wildcat formation: ILLEGAL!

Donovan Says: “At first, I thought this might be fun to have around. I am no longer convinced.”

OLD RULE: Head Coach and QB blamed after a loss!

MCNABB RULE: PEOPLE, WE ARE FIGHTING TWO WARS!

Donovan Says: “People really need to take this all in perspective. Yes, we lost a football game. But darn it if we didn’t try. We really need to think about our priorities as a nation if we’re putting so much stock in the outcome of a football game. Our boys are fighting and dying overseas every day, and it’s really easy to overlook that and get all worked up over some football loss, which isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. That’s why I’d act to keep all footage of losing teams out of the highlight reels. McNabb Rules is all about positivity and having a good time.”

OLD RULE: Rules determined by Rules Committee!

MCNABB RULE: Rules determined by creative whim!

Donovan Says: “What do you mean, the ball has to break the plane of the goal line? Didn’t you see Westbrook stretch out his arms five minutes after he was brought down? THAT’S EFFORT.”

Video - <a href=

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Replies (63)
  • NPhillyBirdman
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    NPhillyBirdman said October 22, 2009

    I wish it was that easy Donovan!
    • hollywoodeagle

      hollywoodeagle replied October 22, 2009

      Donovans head just seems to be screwed on wrong sometimes. Look at that Pic.
    • Canuck
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      Canuck replied October 22, 2009

      This was funny! Good work NPB
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      Funny ****. You know I love McNabb, but his lack of knowledge is starting to wear on me.
  • jaymz77
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    jaymz77 said October 22, 2009

    While I think Eagle fans who hate on Don are smoking crack this was funny as sh*t! Well done!
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 22, 2009

      Maybe I can get you to write one of these for Terrelle Pryor? A rule might be when you throw the ball to the other team, the guy throwing the ball gets points?
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 23, 2009

      LOL, I have to see about that and check the rule book.
  • MONSTER

    MONSTER said October 22, 2009

    lol not only was this funny as hell but the picture of him looks sooooooooooooo fruity lmao
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 22, 2009

      that pic is a nice touch
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 22, 2009

      I like this one too.....

    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 22, 2009

      Here he's trying to get Romo to go in with him on the new rules.

  • funkediva

    funkediva said October 22, 2009

    Bullcrap!
    • MONSTER

      MONSTER replied October 22, 2009

      uhhh ohhh sombody made FUNKEdiva angry......lmao
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 23, 2009

      Diva, I know you dont like it but if it never happened I would have nothing to write about. It's all in fun and believe it or not, Donovan is still the man.
  • TheSweez

    TheSweez said October 22, 2009

    Pretty funny man, way to put your hate into something productive
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 23, 2009

      If you cant talk about the people you love who can you talk about. You fight with with your siblings and argue and make fun but at the end of the day you still love them. I'm in no way shape or form hating on Donovan. I am making light of situations as I always have and those whose know me know that. I either write funny or serious articles and this one like others was to lighten everyones mood with the truth about somethings that really happen.
    • TheSweez

      TheSweez replied October 23, 2009

      No i gotcha, i didn't mean hate in the Tony Romo kinda hate
  • TheSweez

    TheSweez said October 22, 2009

    OLD RULE: no points given for product endorsments during games.

    MACNABB RULE: 1 point given for every commercial during the game that shows a member of the 2 teams.

    Donovan says: "This ones too easy! With all my Cambells Soup, IHOP, and United Way commercials, we would win every game hands down. We would have won the Superbowl in 2004, the NFC Championship game last year, and who knows how many others. If this rule was passed Andy Reid's record would be more impressive, but also with some trophies in the cobweb collecting case."

  • BowlBound
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    BowlBound said October 22, 2009

    Funny post!!! Good one.
  • kristinmasyn

    kristinmasyn said October 22, 2009

    Not funny! this gives cowgirls fans another reason to say eagles fans dont like McNabb!
    • Canuck
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      Canuck replied October 22, 2009

      we don't need another reason...lol
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      Who the hell listens to anything the crygirls fans have to say anyway???
  • kristinmasyn

    kristinmasyn said October 22, 2009

    yea i know, LOL! i support my team and if they play like crap, then they play like crap. every team has its day, but to continuously make fun of mcnabb? no, i dont agree!
  • MONSTER

    MONSTER said October 23, 2009

    in the picture romo is like "mcnabb the game is over you can take off your helmet".......mcnabb then says "come on tony,have you ever seen the size of my head,this thing needs to be cut off"
    • pubicreign

      pubicreign replied October 23, 2009

      No, that was after the game and the offense was coming off the field from another victory. Romo was lounging on the bench while his team was falling apart.....again.
  • hockeygoddess
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    hockeygoddess said October 23, 2009

    Tony looks like he is going to cry!
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      Homo always looks like he's ready to cry. You would too if you had to be a qb for a crygirls team!!!!
    • hockeygoddess
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      hockeygoddess replied October 23, 2009

      Come on Spot, it's the perfect team for him. He is the Poster Child for Dallas. I think he is soooo upset because fellow homo TO is gone-o!
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      In all honesty, I think Homo is a good person, just sad that he must wear that stupid star on his helmet.
  • jaymz77
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    jaymz77 said October 23, 2009

    this article isn't getting nearly enough attention..............
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 23, 2009

      I know tell me about it lol
    • hockeygoddess
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      hockeygoddess replied October 23, 2009

      I don't know how to take this article, it is funny, however, I'm a big McNabb fan. I think a Tony Romo rule - endless # of downs!
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      Yo now that was funny LOLx10
  • hockeygoddess
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    hockeygoddess said October 23, 2009

    Will a team get extra points for blowing chunky soup on the field? (Sorry, I do love Donovan)
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      LOL, I wish I could give you 50 thumbs up for that one!!!!!
  • 20dawk4life

    20dawk4life said October 23, 2009

    its like a family we can make fun of the player but outsiders can not. once they do we turn all of our attention to them. i love it
    • Spotella
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      Spotella replied October 23, 2009

      You've hit the nail on the head. I love my team and my QB, but I will make fun of them if and when I can. I do it with my siblings, my kids and my husband. I love them and they know it. It's all good fun!!! E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES
    • hockeygoddess
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      hockeygoddess replied October 23, 2009

      Yeah I guess it is like a sibling relationship - you can fight with your brother or sister, but anyone else picks on them and you're right there to defend them!
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      Exactly, there is no one here that loves Donovan more than me. I dont say that in an argumentive way but I hope others feel the same.
  • pubicreign

    pubicreign said October 23, 2009

    Tony Romo Rule Book:

    Fumbling a field goal snap is as good as an extra point.
    • hockeygoddess
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      hockeygoddess replied October 23, 2009

      Also for Tony - extra points if you have a blonde singer girlfriend in the stands - points are determined by her weight!
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 23, 2009

      + 1000 hg
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      The girlfriend cannot eat the other QB's endorsement because she fits the description CHUNKY!
    • BowlBound
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      BowlBound replied October 27, 2009

      It's almost as good as not knowing a game can end in a tie or calling a timeout when you don't have any, huh?
  • hockeygoddess
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    hockeygoddess said October 23, 2009

    Does Favre get extra points for his indecisiveness about retiring? (Oh, looks like the Vikings don't need extra points right now)
  • MONSTER

    MONSTER said October 23, 2009

    pubicreign rule:
    the more id's you have the cooler you are(he's the coolest)
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 23, 2009

      LMFAO
    • BowlBound
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      BowlBound replied October 23, 2009

      Nice.
    • TheSweez

      TheSweez replied October 23, 2009

      What's his other id?
    • pubicreign

      pubicreign replied October 24, 2009

      I am honestly monsters former BFF. We parted ways when I was over at his house for a middle school slumber party. I woke up to use the bathroom and saw monster in his sisters bedroom shuving his hand under her covers towards her groin area...when he saw me looking he quickly defended himself by saying he was looking for the tv remote. TRUTH IS OUT F@G!
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      If he was reaching towards a girls vagina I highly doubt that makes him a ***. Now reaching towards his sisters vagina may be another story but definately not a ***. You might wanna look up that definition. I'm just saying...
  • calieagle99

    calieagle99 said October 23, 2009

    Haha NP this is hella funny! I feel you guys though, I make fun of my fam all the time. That's just how it is when you got love for someone and they mess up. Lightens the situation! Good one NP!
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      Thanks yo, I gotta do one for Homo and Eli
  • kristinmasyn

    kristinmasyn said October 26, 2009

    ok its funny, hahahahaha
  • MONSTER

    MONSTER said October 26, 2009

    POTTER THAT WAS GAY,NOBODY LAUGHS AT YOUR JOKES ANYMORE SO YOU CAN LEAVE NOW
  • MONSTER

    MONSTER said October 26, 2009

    HERE IS A RULE: WATCH OUT FOR T-NEW
    • BowlBound
      Placard_complete_small

      BowlBound replied October 26, 2009

      That was great, but it's about time he hit somebody.
  • Zukny1

    Zukny1 said October 26, 2009

    that wasw pretty funny stuff.
  • NPhillyBirdman
    Placard_complete_small

    NPhillyBirdman said October 26, 2009

    Yo watch the game tonight. I'll be in row 2 Corner endzone on Eagles sideline with a Green Eagles Mohawk and a sign that says...
    Eagles eat Campbell Soup Witherspoon.
    • jaymz77
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      jaymz77 replied October 26, 2009

      clever
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      I know man it took me forever plus I got upstage 17-2 girl. She had the clever sign before that made NFL.com
    • hockeygoddess
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      hockeygoddess replied October 26, 2009

      Is the green mohawk your own hair??
    • NPhillyBirdman
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      NPhillyBirdman replied October 26, 2009

      Helllllllllll No lol
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