Originally posted on Razzball  |  Last updated 4/3/12

We here at Deep League Thoughts love things cheap.  If the 5 finger discount were legal, we’d be doing it hand over Doug Fister.  Over the course of the year, we’re going to keep our eye on the bargain bin FA market, targeting the guys that are less than 5 percent owned and try to sprinkle you with tasty little nuggets of info on these gems.  Alright let’s start…sorry, you still have to read…and you have to start a new paragraph to do it.  I know, demanding.

Ugh, catchers.  Worse, a fairly boring catcher.  Worserer?  A Mariners catcher.  Okay, now that we’ve gotten through the doom and gloom I’m about to rainbow and unicorn the shizz outta Miguel Olivo.  Quick player comparison here:

Player A: 25/82/50/1/.215

Player Zed: 19/62/54/6/.224

Ok, so we all know one of these players is Olivo, but which one.  Quick!  No google cheating!  Ok, you probably already knew.  The numbers truly aren’t as sexy as the other one but can you tell me who the other catcher is without pulling out your smartphone in class, Grady Sizemore?  And could you please stop taking pictures with it while you’re at it?  The answer is J.P. Arencibia who for some reason keeps getting the sexy catcher pick vote due to the home runs and that he’s viewed as a ‘safe’ catcher to draft.  I’m assuming people think the Jays will be content with another .215 average year because their other catcher is Jeff Mathis.  Well, Travis D’Arnaud has plenty to say about that, though we might need a French interpreter to fully understand it.  J.P. isn’t halfway out the door, but he’s surely not the Jays future catcher.

I know what you’re going to say, poorly constructed argument to get my point across reader: But the Mariners have Jesus Montero.  Yes, the Mariners went straight for the savior in trading away Michael Pineda over the summer.  So do you really think they’re going to make a prized hitting prospect don the tools of ignorance much this year?  Montero’s value is in his bat and his ability to turn Gatorade and sunflower seeds into beer and chicken in the clubhouse (which makes me wonder if he visited the Red Sox a few times last year).  If you want to throw Montero into the daiquiri mix, the Mariners will have three catchers this year with backup John Jaso.  To further a pointless analogy that I shouldn’t have started in the first place, Olivo is the rum, Jaso is the lime juice and Jesus is the dallop of delicious sugar syrup.  Why would they risk losing Montero’s bat to injury when they have two capable backstops already on the team (see, I told you the analogy was pointless; didn’t even refer back to it)?  The moral of this whole thing is don’t drink and catch…I think.  No wait, the moral of this is Montero is the team’s DH.  He DH’ed game one of the season and he’ll DH most games from here on out.  That means there will be plenty of at-bats to go between Olivo and Jaso with Miguel landing the lion’s share.  He should be good for a .225 average and 15 HRs.  Not rare air here, but not useless in two catcher leagues either.  In Fleaflicker leagues, he’s at 7% owned, and, even more egregiously, he’s at 0.8% owned in ESPN.  Alright, I’ve almost reached 575 words on a catcher.  That definitely is reaching my quota for the year.  ONC out!

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Predators fans throw catfish on ice to celebrate Stanley Cup berth

WATCH: Draymond Green tries just a little to hard to sell foul

Eddie George fires up Predators fans before Game 4 vs Ducks

Viktor Arvidsson had bloody ‘R’ on forehead after hit

Danny Ainge’s son running for congressional seat in Utah

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

John Wall’s retweet saves fan from taking final exam

WATCH: Cubs pull off two miraculous defensive plays in a row

To raise money for charity, a wrestling fan has Cody Rhodes slam him on thumbtacks

Gregg Popovich on Steve Kerr’s health issues: ‘It’s just a crap situation’

CJ McCollum clearly interested in having Paul Millsap join Blazers

Injuries are depriving us from watching the Spurs thrive in the clutch

NBA Weekend Awards: Who will take a bite of the Snow White Crystal Apple?

The 'How two award snubs might shake up the NBA' quiz

Preparing for the BIG3: Q&A with BIG3 co-founder Jeff Kwatinetz

Two months in and Nintendo's Switch dominates 2017 video game market

Getaway Day: League leaders falter allowing new teams to surge ahead

Why wait? Our too soon Cavaliers-Warriors NBA Finals preview

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Best of Yardbarker: Gregg Popovich doesn't mince words

The 'Happy birthday to two of the NBA's all-time antagonists' quiz

The shortstop evolution continues to raise the ceiling

Three Up, Three Down: Astros dominate in every category

Box Score 5/19: Heartbreak in OT

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

NBA Weekend Awards: Who will take a bite of the Snow White Crystal Apple?

The 'How two award snubs might shake up the NBA' quiz

Preparing for the BIG3: Q&A with BIG3 co-founder Jeff Kwatinetz

Two months in and Nintendo's Switch dominates 2017 video game market

Getaway Day: League leaders falter allowing new teams to surge ahead

Why wait? Our too soon Cavaliers-Warriors NBA Finals preview

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Best of Yardbarker: Gregg Popovich doesn't mince words

The 'Happy birthday to two of the NBA's all-time antagonists' quiz

The shortstop evolution continues to raise the ceiling

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker