A real life professional writer, who we'll call "Kansas", wanted to rant about the circumstances regarding the upcoming game. I have to say that I understand his desire to rant, mainly beacuse the boundaries of "real journalism" suck balls. Anyway, enjoy.The Magic Number is down to 1 and the toothless D-Backs have a day game today in St. Louis. As we all know, that means that with another loss by the snakes, the Dodgers will have been crowned NL West champions even before Jeff "Mr. Electron" Kent stumbles out of his coffin and hisses at the sunlight.
That also poses a question...if the D-Backs lose to the Cards (and they probably will) should the Dodgers celebrate before or after their game tonight? Of course, the lame answer is to celebrate after tonight's game - maybe even celebrate on the field with the fans since it's the last home game of the regular season and all. I say, fuck that shit. As soon as the boys come into the clubhouse, hand each of them a pair of King Cobras - fuck the champagne, this is Los Angeles - and let them get nice and toasty in time for the game. Maybe McCourt can even cut beer prices in half for the fans so they can join in the celebration, because with the boys all buzzed and happy, it'll be fun for all from the first pitch.
With the division title already secured, Torre should just let them stagger onto the field and go at it. The Padres really, really suck. Even drunk to Hell, the Dodgers will still beat the Padres, who are even less menacing than Angels fans. Then, after the game, the Dodgers can pound some more on the team charter to San Francisco, wake up all hung-over the next day and give a big FUCK YOU to the Bay Area.
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