They don’t win championships in Philadelphia. If they do, it’s a fluke—something that someone pulled over on God. Every three decades or so, one of the teams will screw up the ecosystem and snatch a title out from under fate’s nose. What’s happening now is a travesty. The Phillies are in the World Series for the second year in a row. What’s worse, they actually won it last year. This is all wrong. Philadelphia is a city full of miscreants and crabapples, with a fan base so jaded and tormented...