How bad are the Seattle Mariners?

I've been spared the torture that is happening in the Pacific Northwest since I'm a Red Sox fan, but people around these parts are just reeling at the thought of their professional baseball team.

The Seattle Mariners are 27 games below .500, but you wouldn't know that by looking at their stats. By the numbers, they're a mediocre team that is somehow around the middle of the pack in pitching and batting, but if you watch one of their games, you'll understand that these guys find ways to lose.

This is how bad it's getting:

-- People are putting their hopes with Washington State University football. This is the same program that produced Ryan Leaf, had a former head coach busted for going to a strip club frequently and didn't make a bowl game last year. Yet, everyone would much rather talk about the chance for them winning five games than the Mariners winning five games the rest of the season.

-- They've only won eight more games (40 to 32) than the short-season Single A Spokane Indians (who reside on the east side of Washington). Keep in mind that the Indians began playing a couple of months into the regular season (hence short season).

-- Locals are writing blogs about Jarrod Washburn and Carlos Silva. Sure they're negative blogs, but if they were on any other team, would the fans really care about these guys. I can't wait for Washburn (who besides King Felix, is considered the best pitcher on the team) to be traded to the Yankees and throw three innings the rest of the year. Oh and yeah, I know I fit in that locals writing blogs about two no talent pitchers category, but at least I'm not breaking down what they could get for Washburn (read: Al Michaels or an old Disney cartoon to be named later)

-- The Mariners are resorting to promotion nights to bring in big crowds. "Nirvana Appreciation Night" and "Remember when we had a basketball team and a baseball team? Night" have been big hits.

-- Fans are pleading with Clay Bennett to buy the team.

-- Rally Fries sales have been down. A lot.

-- Fox Sports Northwest spent three innings today during the Mariners game talking about the Manny controversy -- since it was subsequently more interesting than the game they were broadcasting.

-- Fans are beginning to miss Brett Boone.

-- Barry Bonds on speed dial?Subscribe to us