Los Angeles, CA--Surrounded by waiters lying abut their upcoming role in the new Spiderman movie and strippers pretending they just finished a shoot for American Apparel, Albert Pujols, the expertly crafted baseball playing robot, found his claims of humanity sticking with unprecedented ease.
“They’re totally buying it,” Pujols exclaimed aloud, haphazardly exciting a deceitful T-Mobile salesmen, whose half finished screenplay was currently being green lit by Fox and/or Warner Brothers depending on the night and the number of drinks he’d consumed. In turn, the pathetic ******** artist further encouraged Pujols by remarking “Yeah, you’re right, they’ll definitely buy Sundown Gundown! You know man, you’re hella real, totally freaking hella real, man.”
Reports indicate Pujols so effectively acted the part of adult human male, that a 19 year-old UCLA student brandishing a fake I.D was convinced to go home with the All-Pro. How...
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