Finally, an injury to an Angel that can clear up the awful logjam between OF/DH/3B. Oh wait, it’s to their catcher – Chris Iannetta – where their ‘depth’ involves Bobby Wilson, an injured Hank Conger and sub-Mathis scrubs. Maybe they should try Mark Trumbo at catcher. He’s gotta be better there than at 3B. Chris Iannetta anagrams to Neat Christian – how fitting for an Angel. I guess someone had to be the martyr to save Pujols’s soul from the fiery pits of replacement-level. For those of you in deep enough leagues to warrant a roster spot for Iannetta, just pick up whatever schmohawk catcher is on the waiver wire with the most ABs in the last 2 weeks. Nothing’s sweeter than a random HR from a FA scrub (shoutout to Cesar Izturis’s HR for our NL-only team). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Stephen Strasburg – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks. “Wait until he hits twenty-seven years old and he can barely lift his arm to pack his bowl.” That’s Lincecum watching the Strasburg highlights.
Roger Bernadina – He hit a homer out of the two hole yesterday. Sounds like a constipated guy reporting success to his gastroenterologist. Probably too early to get excited about Bernadina, but he’s definitely someone to put on your radars.
Adam LaRoche – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs with his 6th homer as he bats .327. Yeah, at this point, it would’ve been better to go with LaRoche over Pujols.
Colby Lewis – Not to get all Jayson Stark but here’s Colby Lewis’s bizarre box score: HR, HR, HR, 18 straight outs (11 K’s), HR, BB, HR, HBP, Double Play, E6, K. So that’s 5 hits and 5 HRs. 7 baserunners and 6 runs. 12 Ks and only one walk. So, um, awesome start for those of you in xFIP leagues!
Elvis Andrus – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hits .323 with 5 steals in 6 attempts on the year. 6 attempts was by far the lowest steal attempt total in any month last year. He’s stood on 1st 23 times so far this year. It makes sense when you have Josh Homerton behind you, but it’s disconcerting from a fantasy standpoint for Elvis.
Andy Dirks – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 3rd homer. Leyland doesn’t like to change his lineup (he writes it on rolling paper and each changed lineup is one less cigarette). So Leyland’s put Dirks in the two hole in the lineup, where he could stay for a while, and he’s doing with the bat what was expected of Boesch. In the big picture, he has pretty modest power (which doesn’t mean he blushes after homers) and slightly better speed, but not a burner. 14/18 would be my expectations over a full season. Right now, he’s a hot schmotato.
Bartolo Colon – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Oh no, the dreaded Colon cleanse.
Brett Gardner – His DL stint is going to be a little longer (maybe another month) after a setback with his right elbow. No word on whether Joba Chamberlain’s kid or a trampoline are at fault.
Mark Teixeira – Diagnosed with ‘severely inflamed’ airways. Unlike with the ill-fated Hindenburg Blimplines, it’s treatable.
Rafael Soriano – Got the save yesterday and, because he was a closer, he gave up a run. I don’t think this means Soriano gets the next save over Robertson (K-Rob had thrown two days previous, so he was unavailable), but I do think Robertson could Mr. Bungle the gig, and Soriano is worth owning.
Eduardo Nunez – Decent SAGNOF who’s likely to keep getting playing time with Gardner out. But, man, is he an awful fielder. Is Nunez Spanish for Scissorhands?
Josh Willingham – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer. I feel like the rest of the Twins, who are more familiar with the no-scoring environment of Minnesota baseball, are gonna pull Willingham aside and be like, “Hey, man, those homers… Yeah, we don’t do those here.”
Josh Beckett – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Don’t worry, Josh, there’s at least a dozen wannabe country singers that’ll still sleep with you. Maybe you dial up RaeLynn. “Can you write a song about fried chicken, beer and having a 5.97 ERA? I got the blues, y’all.” That’s Josh hanging out with his harem of D-list country singers.
Jason Kipnis – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI with his 6th homer. Kipnis may sound like a Jewish delicatessen appetizer, but he’s going H.A.M.
Jack Hannahan – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. I guess he didn’t get along with his father’s side of the family and skipped the Hannahananananananananananana wake.
Michael Brantley – 4-for-5, 1 run and 2 RBIs. If you’re wondering where this came from, Rudy and I just dropped him yesterday because HE WAS DOING NOTHING (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics).
Vladimir Guerrero – Signs a minor league deal with the Blue Jays. Just picturing Guerrero running on the Toronto turf makes my knees hurt. Guess it’s all worth it for those extra 11 seats per game that will be filled by nostalgic Expos fans. Vive Vladimir!
Wilson Betemit – Hit his 5th homer in the first game of the doubleheader. I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he won’t. He’s here now and he’s hot. Here’s Eddie Vedder going to his waiver wire, “Can’t find a Betemit…”
Robert Andino – 0-for-8 in the doubleheader. Rudy told me over IM yesterday that we have Andino filling in for our injured Longoria. Luckily, my office is on the first floor so when I jumped out the window it didn’t hurt too much.
Wei-Yin Chen – Very impressive start (7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks) vs. the dangerous Texas Ranger lineup. He’s now at a 2.68 ERA over 37 innings with a decent 28 Ks. Wouldn’t trust him just yet in anything outside of AL-only leagues, but at least Taiwanese fans can stop polluting karaoke bars with, “So take this Broken Wang and learn to pitch again….”
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