Originally written on Midwest Sports Fans  |  Last updated 11/16/14

As some of you know and others may not, I now live in Dallas, Texas after spending the vast majority of my first 26 years in the Hoosier State. Living so far away from my beloved Indiana Hoosiers, Chicago White Sox, and midwestern friends has a number of drawbacks, which was part of the reason I launched this site some 3+ years ago.

But there is one aspect of living in Dallas that absolutely tops the Midwest by leaps and bounds: I get to listen to The Ticket, aka America’s Favorite Radio Station, every day on the way to work and on the way home. I never knew what I was missing before I moved down here, and now that I know, I’ll be a loyal listener wherever I live even if I don’t particularly care about the teams they discuss most.

The reason for this Ticket loyalty despite the apparent disconnect in topic interest is because the station is just so funny (and because, admittedly, they spend a lot less time talking about Dallas sports than you might think). They have a number of clever bits, including impersonations of high profile sports personalities, that are consistently terrific.

Few of these impersonations are as good as Fake Nolan Ryan, and they are made even better when put into the proper context…which is that the real Nolan Ryan and the outlandish caricature of Nolan Ryan that often gets portrayed (both on The Ticket and elsewhere) are not all that dissimilar.

This morning while I drove in to work, The Musers played one of the most well-known and beloved pieces of audio in the station’s history. I’ve heard it a few times before, but I’ve never posted about it. Since it’s a slow sports day, that oversight ends right now.

I agree with Junior Miller, one of The Musers, that the audio clip below – in which the real Nolan Ryan recounts his work to help control the snow monkey population in Texas – is the single funniest moment I’ve ever heard on this station, or any radio station for that matter.

It’s less than five minutes, and it is well worth your time. I promise.

Remember: this is really Nolan Ryan, and this is a true story.

Audio courtesy of TheUnticket.com

As you can imagine, the Nolan Ryan-snow monkeys bit surfaces regularly in the Fake Nolan Ryan segments. When I first heard these regular bits during baseball season, I’d never heard the original snow monkey story and didn’t understand the context. I didn’t even realize snow monkeys were real; I thought it was just something they made up for the bit. Now that I’ve heard it a few times, it make the Fake Nolan bits that much better.

Even if you couldn’t care less about the Texas Rangers, they have earned a high enough profile over the last two years – and Ryan has always had a high profile – that the jokes won’t be “too inside” for you to get. Here are a number of the Fake Nolan bits from the last several years, which you should definitely either listen to or download for later. They’re hilarious.

  • Snow Monkeys Follow Fake Nolan to Surprise, AZ
  • Ranger Promotion Talk (including “***** Night” and “Snow Monkey Night”)
  • Fake Nolan Talks About the Rangers’ Woes

Click here to view all of the Fake Nolan segments The Unticket has up.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Daxter Miles’ Twitter mentions light up after Kentucky blowout

Ortiz: 'Nobody in MLB history' tested for PEDs more than me

Sam Dekker scores career high after Aaron Rodgers' challenge

Brey Day: Notre Dame’s coach makes first Elite Eight after a vintage performance

Ronda Rousey on having kids: 'I'm an ovarian goldmine'

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Pedro Martinez: Rose should be allowed in Hall of Fame

Pablo Sandoval 'cut things off at the root' with Giants

Scott Boras taking shots at Cubs' history over Kris Bryant

Kingdome debt finally paid off 15 years after demolition

49ers waive Jonathan Martin

Former MLBer Curt Ford assaulted, told to ‘go back to Ferguson’

Five bizarre NFL offseason moves that don't add up

Texas to Rick Barnes: Change your staff or you will be fired

First 'National Fantasy Football Convention' to star Tony Romo

Teams that don't deserve to win Connor McDavid Sweepstakes

How a basketball-themed art exhibit changed perceptions

Bucs admit they’ve been getting calls about Mike Glennon

The last Expo standing

NHL ships nets which have room for cameras inside posts

Toronto Raptors limping into the playoffs

Best picks ever at every spot in first round of NFL Draft

Alonzo Mourning confirms “Who wants to sex Mutombo?”

CC Sabathia attempting to get healthier by getting … fatter?

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Notre Dame’s coach makes first Elite Eight

The last Expo standing

Five under-the-radar AL MVP candidates

Michigan sent recruit's GF a letter

MLB teams that could disappoint

25 years ago, the best Sweet 16 of all time was pure madness

The 2015 bad quarterback carousel

17 facts to know before the Sweet 16

Agent: Sam was horrible at veteran combine

Keeping judo ‘pure’ in Europe means keeping MMA out

The Sweet 16 should be seen as success

On the Browns, Hard Knocks, questions and narratives

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.