Originally written on Midwest Sports Fans  |  Last updated 11/16/14

As some of you know and others may not, I now live in Dallas, Texas after spending the vast majority of my first 26 years in the Hoosier State. Living so far away from my beloved Indiana Hoosiers, Chicago White Sox, and midwestern friends has a number of drawbacks, which was part of the reason I launched this site some 3+ years ago.

But there is one aspect of living in Dallas that absolutely tops the Midwest by leaps and bounds: I get to listen to The Ticket, aka America’s Favorite Radio Station, every day on the way to work and on the way home. I never knew what I was missing before I moved down here, and now that I know, I’ll be a loyal listener wherever I live even if I don’t particularly care about the teams they discuss most.

The reason for this Ticket loyalty despite the apparent disconnect in topic interest is because the station is just so funny (and because, admittedly, they spend a lot less time talking about Dallas sports than you might think). They have a number of clever bits, including impersonations of high profile sports personalities, that are consistently terrific.

Few of these impersonations are as good as Fake Nolan Ryan, and they are made even better when put into the proper context…which is that the real Nolan Ryan and the outlandish caricature of Nolan Ryan that often gets portrayed (both on The Ticket and elsewhere) are not all that dissimilar.

This morning while I drove in to work, The Musers played one of the most well-known and beloved pieces of audio in the station’s history. I’ve heard it a few times before, but I’ve never posted about it. Since it’s a slow sports day, that oversight ends right now.

I agree with Junior Miller, one of The Musers, that the audio clip below – in which the real Nolan Ryan recounts his work to help control the snow monkey population in Texas – is the single funniest moment I’ve ever heard on this station, or any radio station for that matter.

It’s less than five minutes, and it is well worth your time. I promise.

Remember: this is really Nolan Ryan, and this is a true story.

Audio courtesy of TheUnticket.com

As you can imagine, the Nolan Ryan-snow monkeys bit surfaces regularly in the Fake Nolan Ryan segments. When I first heard these regular bits during baseball season, I’d never heard the original snow monkey story and didn’t understand the context. I didn’t even realize snow monkeys were real; I thought it was just something they made up for the bit. Now that I’ve heard it a few times, it make the Fake Nolan bits that much better.

Even if you couldn’t care less about the Texas Rangers, they have earned a high enough profile over the last two years – and Ryan has always had a high profile – that the jokes won’t be “too inside” for you to get. Here are a number of the Fake Nolan bits from the last several years, which you should definitely either listen to or download for later. They’re hilarious.

  • Snow Monkeys Follow Fake Nolan to Surprise, AZ
  • Ranger Promotion Talk (including “***** Night” and “Snow Monkey Night”)
  • Fake Nolan Talks About the Rangers’ Woes

Click here to view all of the Fake Nolan segments The Unticket has up.

MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Family searching for missing Ohio State football player

CM Punk opens up about leaving WWE, says he'll never return

Manny Pacquiao responds to Floyd Mayweather diss

Australian cricket player dies from head injuries

Wrigley Field bleacher renovation may be delayed

Yankees wanted Rollins but Phillies' price was too high

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Pop misses game for medical reasons; Messina takes over

John Beilein upset with ESPN for late start time to game

Tyson Chandler felt like Knicks' scapegoat at times

Fred Jackson has 'no respect' for Donte Whitner

Devon Still responds to unpaid child support allegations

Diamondbacks sign Cuban slugger Yasmany Tomas

Things to be thankful for in the NBA this season

Eric Berry sends out Thanksgiving message

WATCH: Ronda Rousey talks about Eminem referencing her

WATCH: Dwayne Harris dirty hit on Nolan Carroll sparks fight

Steelers turned down chance to be called 'America's Team'

Report: Small chance Raiders-Rams could be moved to Indy

Todd Gurley begins rehab after surgery on knee for torn ACL

Brodeur to practice with Blues

OSU player posts Michigan player's girlfriend as his 'WCW'

Jim Harbaugh's family may not eat turkey thanks to NBC

Ole Miss' The Grove threatened by Mississippi State fan

Is it time for the Redskins to move on from Robert Griffin III?

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

WATCH: Ronda Rousey talks Eminem

CM Punk opens up about leaving WWE

Wrigley renovation may be delayed

Steelers could have been America's Team

John Beilein upset with ESPN

Should Washington move on from RG3?

Dominic Raiola fined for cheap shots

Rose leaves with injury again

WATCH: Pierce signs for fan during game

Report: McCoy to start over RG3

Braxton Miller headed to Oregon?

Game of the week: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.