Originally written on Midwest Sports Fans  |  Last updated 11/16/14

As some of you know and others may not, I now live in Dallas, Texas after spending the vast majority of my first 26 years in the Hoosier State. Living so far away from my beloved Indiana Hoosiers, Chicago White Sox, and midwestern friends has a number of drawbacks, which was part of the reason I launched this site some 3+ years ago.

But there is one aspect of living in Dallas that absolutely tops the Midwest by leaps and bounds: I get to listen to The Ticket, aka America’s Favorite Radio Station, every day on the way to work and on the way home. I never knew what I was missing before I moved down here, and now that I know, I’ll be a loyal listener wherever I live even if I don’t particularly care about the teams they discuss most.

The reason for this Ticket loyalty despite the apparent disconnect in topic interest is because the station is just so funny (and because, admittedly, they spend a lot less time talking about Dallas sports than you might think). They have a number of clever bits, including impersonations of high profile sports personalities, that are consistently terrific.

Few of these impersonations are as good as Fake Nolan Ryan, and they are made even better when put into the proper context…which is that the real Nolan Ryan and the outlandish caricature of Nolan Ryan that often gets portrayed (both on The Ticket and elsewhere) are not all that dissimilar.

This morning while I drove in to work, The Musers played one of the most well-known and beloved pieces of audio in the station’s history. I’ve heard it a few times before, but I’ve never posted about it. Since it’s a slow sports day, that oversight ends right now.

I agree with Junior Miller, one of The Musers, that the audio clip below – in which the real Nolan Ryan recounts his work to help control the snow monkey population in Texas – is the single funniest moment I’ve ever heard on this station, or any radio station for that matter.

It’s less than five minutes, and it is well worth your time. I promise.

Remember: this is really Nolan Ryan, and this is a true story.

Audio courtesy of TheUnticket.com

As you can imagine, the Nolan Ryan-snow monkeys bit surfaces regularly in the Fake Nolan Ryan segments. When I first heard these regular bits during baseball season, I’d never heard the original snow monkey story and didn’t understand the context. I didn’t even realize snow monkeys were real; I thought it was just something they made up for the bit. Now that I’ve heard it a few times, it make the Fake Nolan bits that much better.

Even if you couldn’t care less about the Texas Rangers, they have earned a high enough profile over the last two years – and Ryan has always had a high profile – that the jokes won’t be “too inside” for you to get. Here are a number of the Fake Nolan bits from the last several years, which you should definitely either listen to or download for later. They’re hilarious.

  • Snow Monkeys Follow Fake Nolan to Surprise, AZ
  • Ranger Promotion Talk (including “***** Night” and “Snow Monkey Night”)
  • Fake Nolan Talks About the Rangers’ Woes

Click here to view all of the Fake Nolan segments The Unticket has up.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

WATCH: Masai Ujiri fires up Raptors fans with expletive

Andre Johnson: Signing with Colts not about revenge

Pete Rose joining FOX as baseball analyst

Josh Hamilton filed for divorce around time of relapse

Isaiah Thomas once peed himself to avoid subbing out

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: ESPN employees want Britt McHenry fired

WATCH: Raptors fans shower Paul Pierce with vulgar taunts

Report: Vikings want first-rounder, starting CB for Peterson

Report: Jarret Stoll arrested for possession of drugs

CJ Wilson: Josh Hamilton’s relapse a ‘tame scenario’

Head coaching candidates for the Denver Nuggets

Sabres GM not happy about losing draft lottery

Yordano Ventura ejected for plunking Brett Lawrie

Five early takeaways from the 2015 MLB season

WATCH: Female Cubs fan catches foul ball in beer cup, chugs it

WATCH: Cardale Jones throws ball 74 yards during contest

Shaka Smart was quite popular at the Texas spring game

Ohio State sets spring game attendance record

WATCH: Bubba Watson raps on Christian rap track

WATCH: Jags mascot wins closest to pin at Sawgrass

Notre Dame wears 'Father Ted' patches during spring game

Five things to watch during the NBA Playoffs

Hanley Ramirez put hole in Green Monster during BP

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Josh Hamilton filed for divorce from wife

Report: McHenry's coworkers want her fired

WATCH: Raptors fans taunt Paul Pierce

Five things to watch in NBA Playoffs

Report: Jarret Stoll busted for drugs

CJ Wilson: Hamilton is 'ready to go'

Leaked Clippers jersey redesigns

Tequila Patron Sports Car Showcase preview

Home runs ruined our ability to appreciate production

Why we love the NFL draft

The "worst" player on each NBA playoff team

Jim Harbaugh showed up at Ultimate Frisbee practice

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.