Originally posted on Metstradamus  |  Last updated 8/3/12
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Just about 36 hours ago there was a report that the Mets were deep in talks with the Marlins about sending Jason Bay off to Skittles Park to bring back Heath Bell and John Buck.

This is hilarious to me. But I'm sure it enraged Bay, and perhaps made him cry. How would you feel if your baseball career with a particular club was such a colossal failure, that a deal to get rid of you for a human gas can who doubles as a paperweight, and a guy who obviously is using a pseudonym for a possible seamless transition to a career in the adult entertainment industry whose shining moment in baseball was hitting a home run off Mike Pelfrey (but hey, who hasn't done that) was actually being discussed? You'd cry too, admit it.

Bay must have been enraged. He responded by ... well, he responded by going 0-for-4. But then ... well, you know you can't keep a good man down for more than five or six games. And with the bases loaded in the first inning on Thursday, and with at least one blogger wondering how he was going to pull off the impossible feat of hitting into a triple play with two outs, Bay ripped a two run single off of Barry Zito to send the Mets on their way to a 9-1 victory over the San Francisco Giants. It was the first time Bay had driven in two or more runs in a game since April 13th. And as you know, if Bay pokes his head out of the dugout and drives in multiple runs in a game it means that we'll have six more weeks under the Mendoza line.

For this to happen on the same day Ronny Cedeno drove in five runs in a game (with help from the usual stellar outfield play of Melky Cabrera) could only mean that any day now we'll start to hear those Bay for Zito rumors ratchet up. It can't be any worse than getting back Heath Bell so that he can do the exact thing for $27 million than Ramon Ramirez can do for $2.65 million, which is be a general menace to society out of the bullpen. And guess what kids, Bell has a $9 million option for 2015 if he finishes 55 games. Which means that if Frank Francisco and Jon Rauch decide to retire so they can open for Boz Scaggs, Bell would spend the next three years eating the Mets out of house and home while only saving a few of those post-game meatballs for the ninth inning. And if Bell doesn't finish 55 games, that would mean the Mets would be paying Bell $9 million a year to pitch the seventh inning. That would be ... well, Omarish.

So remember kids, as bad as you think your financial situation is, there's always somebody worse off than you. And that someone is usually the Marlins. So if Larry Beinfest shows up at your door and you see Heath Bell behind him, slam the door.

 

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