Commander Kick Ass Doesn't Need a No-Hitter to Prove His Superiority.

I, on the other hand, would have loved to see Beckett hurl one, if for no other reason than the post-game celebration/press conference, which likely would have contained more F-bombs per minute than a Richard Pryor routine (link NSFW, as if you had to ask). Still, for seven and two-thirds glorious innings, we saw the return of Commander Kick Ass of the F#$k Yeah Brigade; vintage Beckett was in the house and got us all hoping that maybe, just maybe, he's spent the earliest months of the season working out any kinks, and will be nothing but crapping lightning and bleeding vodka from here on out. Before Curtis Granderson -- wasn't that the name of Willie Aames' best friend on Eight is Enough? -- broke it up with a hit in the seventh, the closest the Tigers came to a hit was an attempted bunt by Gerald Laird, who, not surprisingly, got plunked by the Commander in his next at-bat. Which, of course, is Beckett's subtle way of saying, "Don't f@#k with the Maestro.&...