Conquest of the Planet of the Wakefields!

Bow your heads! This tribunal is in session!Thank you, General Aldo. We have a lot to cover today. First things first, this human. The one called Wakefield.We found him loitering in our crops, Doctor!Is this true, human?I was having a catch. We lost the ball in the corn, I went looking for it. Next thing I know, this asshole's hitting me with a stick.He was f@#king with our corn!Let's keep calm heads, please. Wakefield, what is this thing called "catch," and, more importantly, what is a talking human in that obscene outfit doing in our city in the year 3975?Playing baseball. What do you think? In 3975? Preposterous!Look, the Red Sox signed me to a 2-year deal back in 2009. Then I got another one in 2011. And in 2013. And 2015. Yadda, yadda, yadda, here I am, still pitching.Heresay. Mister Cornelius, can you confirm this wild tale?Well, Doctor, the scrolls do tell of a man named Wakefield who started over 25,000 games for the Boston Red Sox. And he accurately descri...