Cubs 7-10 Pirates:  MadLibs for BadCubs

Despite the (fungal infection) outbreak that sidelined (last names of three famous outlaws), the Cubs offense finally un(profanity used as a verb) themselves, only to have the Cubs pitching staff (adverb)(euphemism for crapping on one’s own person). (Name of serial killer) who has been hitting at a .286 clip in May, finally (synonym for mass murder) in a (adjective) way with a double—which tied the game—and a homer—which gave the Cubs a (adjective) lead—and 4 RBI. (Any rodent indigenous to Louisiana) continued his (adjective)(metaphor for drug use) with 3 doubles of his own. (Name of unfunny comedian) was (adjective) and when he wasn’t (gerund) every Pirate hitter, he was allowing them to (verb in the present tense) on base in other ways. (Male American Idol contestant) has hopefully (verb in the past tense) his final game for the Cubs, after coming in and allowing the Pirates to (any sex act found on Urban Dictionary) him and retake the lead after (serial killer’s last name, from above, in the possessive) go-ahead (any form of ritual sacrifice). Bottom line: this (group of people you admire) is in (any term from Cockney Rhyming Slang) and if (name of famous psychopath) doesn’t figure out how to (verb) this thing around, the (adjective)Cubs may find themselves (gerund)(sport played with sticks) come October. Tomorrow night, (Any South American dictator) takes on (member of Nixon’s Cabinet). Let’s hope the (word that Rhymes with “Cubs”) can (verb), and eek out a (bodily function). Feel free to cut-and-paste, then fill in the blanks, in the comments. Oh, and in all seriousness, send your thoughts and prayers out to Matt Capps, who looks to be injured very seriously. That is one of the most sickening and scary things I’ve seen on the diamond, and I wish him a speedy recovery.