Cubs fans continue to prove they’re dumber than a box of rocks

Today?s example comes from Rob over on GROTA. Pay particular attention to the URL: Arod we hate you. Yes, seriously, I am not making that up. You an see it yourself. Freakin? A-Rod and his five-year-old piss. He isn?t a Cub - thank God, because there were a few times he could have possibly ended up here. There were a couple times? And oh yeah, it?s definitely good that one of the two best players in all of baseball didn?t end up in Chicago. That would fucking suck. I mean, all we?d be doing is replacing a really talented player at shortstop with another really talented player. See, we don?t need him. He may be the most talented ballplayer any of us have ever seen. Thank God he isn?t a Cub. There isn?t any particular baseball skill that he lacks. Thank God he isn?t a Cub. But he?s never won anything. Except some division championships and some MVP awards. He?s clearly not very good at baseball. He?s been traded twice, and nobody left behind has shed a single tear. He was traded once, but who gives a shit about facts? Some other other players who were traded once: Babe Ruth (fucking sucks!), Greg Maddux (twice, and obviously sucks balls because of it), Mark aka God DeRosa, Alfonso Soriano (it is true, he really does suck after all), CC Sabathia (Sucks!), Hanley Ramirez (Really sucks), Josh Beckett (terrible!), and Rich Harden (awful pitcher). It?s also important to note that Rob did not notice any person shedding a tear when any of those players traded. You see, Rob is around MLB executives all day and night long and would know if tears were shed. Also, the amount of tears shed is a stat I?m working on because those who cause more tears to be shed are better players. He seemingly has no friends in the game. Seemingly being the key word here, but with those long days and nights watching for tear shedders, Rob knows he isn?t liked by anyone. That?s why he was traded 3 times in his career. He was born in America, but he is of Dominican descent, and has lived there at times in his life. This is important in establishing that while he is also a minority, he is from another country making him twice as bad as your average minority. Neither country wants to claim him Did I forget to mention that Rob spends his evenings with leaders of both the US and Dominican Republic and knows this to be true? Neither country shed a tear over him either. and especially when you consider how openly the D.R. canonized the charming and delightful Sammy Sosa, you must take that into consideration. He actually said something nice about Sosa, which is a surprise. Yes, kids, I used the adjectives for Sosa with all the facetiousness I can muster. Oops. I was wrong. Maybe Rob just hates good players? By the way, everything I?ve quote so far is in consecutive order. This is a comedy piece for the ages. I?m hoping FJM comes out of retirement for this one. He looks like a freak. Not a swollen Michelin Man like Bonds or Sosa, but like some refugee from Top Model with his makeup and lip gloss. In other words, he?s a minority. Minorities are freaky people. Seriously though, who cares that the man looks as he does? Amazing. Ever since he broke in, there?s been all sorts of conjecture about his sexual orientation, and while that is entirely his own business, the manner in which he has conducted himself in the ?relationship arena? does nothing to clear things up for us. So it?s his own business, but Rob demands he clear it up immediately. Madonna? Really? Yes, really. It?s true, Rob. If you are already categorized by one and all as an aloof weirdo who holds himself up on a pedestal above the rest of us human beings, why do you go and seek out of the ten other people on this whole planet who might be even more arrogant and haughtier than you? Why should you care? This has nothing to do with the Cubs, except for the fact that I now thank God every night that A-Rod does not rock the Blue. While it might seem that the funniest thing here is that he once again thanks God that A-Rod is not a Cub, I can?t stop laughing at the idea of grown man thinking that there are actual Cubs players who ?rock the Blue.? What on God?s green fucking earth is that shit? Jesus! That?s worse than Cubbies. That?s just fucking retarded. Wow. A-Rod? I gotta tell you buddy, I hope that some agency picks up this little post today and puts it out there for all to see. I?m sure A-Rod shed a tear if he read this nonsense. Thank God he?s not rocking the Blue. Because as much as I want to see MY ball club win, my second biggest wish in all of sports is for you to just. Go. Away. Forever. You can now see that Rob is an executive and well aware of who sheds tears when players are traded because the Cubs are HIS team. He knows all. And, all due respect, Rob, actually, no, with no respect at all for you because you?re one of the 10 dumbest fucking baseball fans dead or alive, if you really think A-rod gives a fuck about what you say then why are you talking about A-Rod or Madonna?s arrogance and not your own? You should just. Go. Away. Forever. Rob. You and Bonds and McGwire and Sosa and Michael Jackson, just go to Dubai or someplace far, far away where they can hook you up to the special machines where they feed you vampires human blood or whatever it is that you crave to get through your days, and just go away and be the pets of some trillionaire sultan, and never be seen above ground ever again, and just leave us the hell alone. Best. Comment. Ever. There?s nothing more enjoyable than reading the words of some person who is undoubtedly crying as he feels he has been jilted by one of his loves, in this case A-rod. The only thing better would have been if Rob had videotaped it. That would have been awesome. A-Rod, we hate you! He cares. And stop this ?we? shit, will you? Don?t ever think that I?m as fucking dumb as you and that you speak for me. I know Jason came over here recently and said that Rob wasn?t dumb, but I don?t really care how intelligent he is with anything else. The man is one of the top 10 dumbest fucking baseball fans in the history of this sport. He has the logic skills of a 3-year old. Screw that. That?s an insult to 3-year olds across the world who undoubtedly have better logic skills than Rob. Unbelievable.