Dandy Scam. Dan Uggla is still sorting through the details of a very strange season.
ATLANTA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Renowned sports psychologist, Carl Pritz was in Dan Uggla’s corner when the all star second baseman was toiling under the Mendoza line for the first half of the season. Uggla had struggled before, but not to the level he suffered shortly before emerging from the funk to fashion a 33 game hitting streak, which finally ended on August 14th.
“Unlike players who place an inordinate amount of pressure on themselves, Uggla claims his troubles were because he was being tormented by a small troll named Bixel, who lived in his gallbladder.” said Pritz. “I’ve seen it all before.”
Fortunately for Uggla, the gallbladder issue was attributed to eating too many spicy wings. Uggla and Pritz were able to enjoy a good laugh together, and the Atlanta second sacker’s batting average has improved to the .230’s, while hitting 30 homers for the fifth straight season.
However, a more sinister issue lurked beneath Uggla’s seemingly benign relationship with Pritz. Pritz continued to treat Uggla, placing him under hypnosis, sometimes for hours at a time, trying to convince him he’s the best person to manage his money. Uggla, unaware of Pritz’s ulterior motive, turned over his endorsement deals as well as the deed on his winter home in Key West.
“Hmm, that sucks.” said Uggla. “I was wondering what happened to my paychecks from Nike and why there’s so many guys with beards and pipes with keys to my bungalow.”
As Uggla prepares for a weekend series against the Los Angeles Dodgers, Pritz has been taken into custody, stripped of his license and is under observation in Zurich.
Original Story:
http://sportsmansdaily.com/thescrum/?...
