Well, we're all another year older and not a bit wiser. Can you believe it's almost 2012? Top Tens are pretty nifty and all, but we're gonna go ahead and add a few more of baseball's most memorable moments of the 2011 season, including the happy, sad, funny and unbelievable.
April 8: Manny Ramirez "retired" from baseball after getting busted cheating once again. Idiot. This happened roughly nine months before he was reinstated and granted a 50-game ban if any teams choose to sign his dumb ass.
April 11: We were given the opportunity to interview Joe Mauer and his mother during a Kemps ice cream commercial shoot and managed not to embarrass ourselves.
April 20: Cody Ross and Brian Wilson join Youtube sensation Keenan Cahill in a lip-synced rendition of Dynamite. This is about when B-Weezy stopped being entertaining... just ask Bud Norris.
May 17: Harmon Killebrew passes away at the age of 74, leaving behind a legacy unrivaled in Minnesota sports.
May 26: Kirk Gibson face-plants during batting practice and we almost pee our pants. Meanwhile, Buster Posey breaks his leg and our hearts.
June 3: We speculate on and fantasize about where Albert Pujols will end up in 2012 and make a video of him playing in a Chicago Cubs uniform.
June 23: In the midst of a break-up, Sooze declares the top ten reasons baseball is better than men.
July 20: We were mildly irritated that Jim Thome was about to crush his 600th career home run and no one seemed to give a ****. Try to keep up people.
August 30: We finally give in and admit to ourselves and the world that Man Muscles is not the toughest guy on the planet. In fact, he's kind of a *****.
September 1: We take a long look back at 3,000 posts. You'd think we'd have nothing better to do with our lives.
September 3: Before deciding to retire a champion, Tony La Russa ******* about something irrelevant once again.
September 20: Mariano Rivera carries on with his daily routine and becomes baseball's All-time saves leader.
September 24: We turned back the clock when the Milwaukee Brewers win their first division title since 1982. Those were the days.
September 29: Wild Card Wednesday. If any of you were at any of these games we are downright jealous. What a day in a baseball... it was almost as crazy as Game 6 of the World Series nearly a month later.
October 6: Tim Lincecum is sued for being a lazyass stoner party animal. He's like a lot of our buddies, minus the millions of dollars and baseball talent.
October 13: Nyjer Morgan's pot calls the kettle black when he referred to a mix-up with the family seating arrangement at Busch Stadium as "bush league". Hilarious. Meanwhile, a few Boston Red Sox players are called out for being fat, drunk slobs. Also hilarious.
October 24: We're not sure who told Derek Holland it was okay to grow that thing on his upper lip, but he obviously doesn't have a girlfriend. Or a mother.
October 29: The St. Louis Cardinals shocked the nation and capped an improbable playoff run by winning the World Series in seven exciting games. David Freese becomes a household name.
And then there's the offseason, which is always eventful. While the look on spankin' new Miami Marlin Jose Reyes' face when he draped himself in his hideous new uniform was priceless, the Hot Stove was blazing in Anaheim this winter. Not only were Cardinals fans burning Pujols jerseys, we're sure some of them set fire to the full page ad he took out in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Meanwhile, C.J. Wilson took his straightedge hipster act to Southern California to join King Albert and the Halos.
By the way, in case you enjoy lists and missed the Top Ten thing we were oh-so-thankful for in 2011, you can find that here in our Thanksgiving post. No, Joe Mauer was not one of them.
What was the most memorable moment of the 2011 season for you?
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