In Honor of Andruw Jones, The Angry T unveils Baseball's Anti-All-Star Team

As the all-star break approaches, many of baseball's top minds are handing out mid-season awards and telling fans who should have made the All-Star team if they weren't able to get their grubby, unwashed fingers to drunkenly punch little holes in the All-Star ballots. That is not our style at the Angry T. We would much rather tear someone down than give a person a compliment or suggest that they should be honored. It makes us feel better and it should make you feel like a more worthwhile human being as well. So, let's take a look, position by position, on who deserves a spot on the Anti-All-Star Team and who gets our vote for the LVP (Least Valuable Player) and the Mike Maroth Award (the oppposite of the Cy Young) SP: Barry Zito - His fantastic looks can only take him so far. SP: Miguel Batista - While I almost always blame Jim Riggleman in this situations, I think Miguel and Richie Sexson deserve just a little bit "credit" for the Mariners' futility SP: Brett Myers - Maybe that trip to the bullpen should be permanent RP: Jason Isringhausen - Jason's seven blown saves narrowly edge out Eric Gagne's 6 + ERA and 5 blown saves. C: Jason Varitek - This guy is an All-Star? Maybe they should take the voting power out of our grubby little hands. 1B: Richie Sexson - 6?8?, 240 pounds of god-awful 2B: Rickie Weeks - How long do they let the former Golden Spikes winner hit .200 before they pull the plug. SS: Troy Tulowitzki - This was an agonizing decision because Omar Ziquel has been equally horrific this year. In the end, I chose Troy because I have to imagine that more was expected out of the 23 year old Troy than the 54 year old Omar. Plus, look at that OBP, it's damn near .250, very impressive. 3B: Bill Hall - Sorry to pick on the Brewers, but this guy will probably finish the season with a .235 average and 150 strikeouts. Unless he hits about 30 bombs, this will be another disappointing season for Mr. Hall OF: Andruw Jones - Not bad for 14.7 million a year. OF: Eric Brynes - When the Diamonbacks signed him to a three years, $30 million extension in the off-season, I think they expected a bit more. OF: Jeff Francoeur - Jeff's numbers haven't been as bad as some of the players above, but the Braves moved him down to AAA nonetheless. For Jeff's sake, I hope his promotion back to the majors sparks a turnaround LVP - The Contenders: Andruw Jones - OF - LA Dodgers Troy Tulowitzki - SS - Colorado Rockies Richie Sexson - 1B - Seattle Mariners AND THE WINNER IS?. Andruw Jones!!!!!! http://llnw.image.cbslocal.com/0/2008/04/19/320x240/Jones_Yankees_80768834.jpg Mike Maroth Award: No need for a drumroll, let's give it to the $126 million dollar man Barry Zito who has been about as impressive as an 84 mph fastball, which he features prominently. The image "http://blogs.dailyillini.com/justbaseball/files/2007/05/zito.jpg" cannot be displayed, because it contains errors. Congrats to all the winners, you should be very proud of your terrible baseball playing selves. The Angry T