My Phillies Dream Last Sunday night (Or-Would everyone please quit whining about the decision to play Game 5 despite the bad weather forecast?)

I had a dream on Sunday night that Pat Gillick and Charlie Manual had a meeting with Bud Selig, the Commissioner of MLB. Pat & Charlie dreamt up a lop-sided proposal for the Phillies and went into the room to try to sell it to Bud. The meeting was held on Monday morning. Pat and Charlie were trying to negotiate the following conditions of a lop-sided Phillies deal with Bud. Pat & Charlie were willing to postpone Game 5 until Wednesday night but they had a few far-fetched conditions that had to be met in order to put their players and their beloved Philadelphia fans through two days of tortuous expectations waiting for their Champion Phillies to be crowned: -Condition 1: Pat and Charlie insisted that because we would ask our fans to wait 2 days to play and, yes, even though we are still the home team, that the Phillies would have to be granted the unprecedented privilege of having our team bat first and also to bat last, if necessary. Bud said that that would be a tough one to grant but was willing to listen to the rest of Pat and Charlie's conditions. -Condition 2: Pat and Charlie insisted instead of leading off with our number 1 batter, Jimmy Rollins, the Phillies would have the option of leading off with the 9th position with a pinch hitter of their choice, maybe say Greg Dobbs or Matt Stairs, without even having to name the starting pitcher yet. They could then return to the top of the order to finish the first inning. The Rays would have to skip the first 5 batters in their line-up when they came to bat and lead off with Navarro. Bud said that idea was so insane that he could only agree to that condition if Cole Hamels was not permitted to pitch in this revised Game 5 unless he was willing to pitch on one or two day's rest (after throwing only 70 pitches in his last outing). -Condition 3: Pat and Charlie insisted that because the Phillies players would need to get some additional rest (in the unlikely event of a Game 6) that we would have to shorten Game 5 to 3 ½ innings. The Phillies would get 12 outs (if needed) but the Rays would get only 9 outs. Bud said he expected that condition to be a tough one to sell to the Tampa side. -Condition 4: Pat and Charlie insisted that even though these first three conditions were pretty favorable to the Phillies that the score of the game start off with no advantage to either side as though it was a brand new game (i.e., the starting score would be nothing-nothing, 2-2, whatever). Bud said that because Philadelphia has so much more to offer, things like cheese steaks and the Liberty Bell and Tampa has nothing to much to offer except a latrine shaped like a ball park and small pile of annoying cow bells, that they might be onto something. I was so happy to hear Bud sounding agreeable that I thought to my sleeping self, "Am I dreaming or something?" Right before I woke up from this wonderful dream, I heard Bud say "YES, let's do it," and I saw Tug McGraw and John Vukovich standing in the hazy background behind Bud, nodding in agreement with a wink and two thumbs up. I said to my sleeping self: "Self, you are definitely dreaming if you think something this good could happen to a Philadelphia sports team". It was at that precise moment that I came to my senses and fully realized that this whole thing was all just another nice dream about a Philly team having a chance to win it all -- my alarm simultaneously went off to radio station 610-WIP. My smiling slumber had been suddenly and rudely interrupted by a bunch of Phillies fans ranting and raving about how Game 5 had been played in tough weather conditions on Monday night and should not have been played at all. The more I listened to these unhappy fans, the more I realized that these fans were describing EXACTLY the four conditions that I had just witnessed in my dream that had been proposed to Bud Selig by Charlie and Pat and approved by Tug and "Vuke." I said to myself, "WOW, this really is a dream come true, I better write it down and share it because every detail has turned out to be true!" So what are you all whining about? Let's get out there to cheer on a lop-sided Phillies victory in Game 5 built upon these very real, very lop-sided conditions!! You gotta believe! Let's go Phillies!!!