OH MY GOODNESS BASEBALL PLAYERS ARE CHEATING

Hey, did you hear? Joe Mauer is tipping pitches to his buddies and Bronson Arroyo has crap on his brim, probably borrowed from Kenny Rogers' crap farm! To wit, here's a video that purports to show Joe Mauer stealing the signs from opposing catcher Gerald Laird: This is like the baseball version of Oliver Stone's feature film JFK, except 1,000 times more boring and completely devoid of Tommy Lee Jones playing a Southern dandy. Two thumbs down! Conspiracy theories abound, but we turn to Twins manager Ron "Gardy" Gardenhire to debunk the idea that Mauer was doing anything wrong: "That's the best they can come up with? Chrysler," Gardenhire said. "Every team in baseball tries to steal signs. Every team in baseball tries to get the coaches' signs, the manager's signs, so ... really that's old stuff." In other news, Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan accused Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo of smearing baseballs with some pi...