Okay, seriously. WHO?

Boston has signed Chad Paronto, Scott Patterson, Kelvin Pichardo, Ray Chang, and Christian Colonel to minor league contracts. Kelvin Pichardo is the only one I think I have heard of.In very basic terms, Chad Paronto is a big, right-handed 34-year-old reliever. He's been up and down... mostly down these past couple of years, working for the Houston org over there in Round Rock. no one good is named chad:1. Paronto is a New Englander! He's from New Hampshire and went to UMass Amherst. Somehow, I doubt he's ever owned a copy of 'Doolittle'.2. CP has also had jobs with Baltimore and Atlanta. Mexicans have a problem with the way gringos pronounce 'Atlanta' because we do not pronounce the 't'. They have a point. 3. Paronto strained his left hamstring last September. Astros interim manager Dave Clark 5 held him out of the last few games and Paronto was kinda pissed about it.4. Paronto is a sinker kinda guy and likes to get a lot of work in. Quoth he last...