Found September 27, 2012 on Awful Announcing:
Mlb-all-star-futures-game

On an edition of SportsCenter Wednesday afternoon, Rob Parker and Keith Law had a debate about the AL MVP award. I can't find any video online to share the ridiculousness, but essentially, Law provided rational arguments arguing for Mike Trout while Parker took a page from the Skip Bayless book and made his point in favor of Miguel Cabrera by being loud.

After the debate, Parker took to Twitter and brought out the nemesis of statisticians everywhere... nerd jokes. Only this time, they fell flatter than a pancake.


To all the stat-geeks that follow @keithlaw: please put ur calculators down and watch the damn game. That's why the A's haven't won jack.

— Rob Parker (@RobParkerESPN) September 26, 2012

The Oakland A's are currently three games out of the AL West lead, and are a playoff team in the AL as the second wild card. They have five more wins than the Detroit Tigers. 

Explain this to me: when talking about NFL quarterbacks, why does ESPN trot out QBR when *no one* can calculate it without inputting every little bit of data from a game into a computer? Why is PER such a great meter of a player's success level in the NBA when it's nearly the same thing as WAR, which is apparently a demon stat created by nerds in their parents' basements? It's one of those mysteries of the world.... baseball advanced stats get savaged, while advanced stats in other sports get praised by ESPN and mainstream media.

“@theharryadams: @robparkerespn Klaw has forgotten more about baseball than you'll ever know.” Yeah wat it takes to win a World Series

— Rob Parker (@RobParkerESPN) September 26, 2012

I think a player like Mike Trout, who brings value to the team on defense, the basepathes, and on offense, is a pretty valuable player to have in center field when trying to win a World Series, no?

I've watched that Billy Beane movie 20 times and the A's never won the World Series. Stats so lame, they couldn't add a Hollywood-ending.

— Rob Parker (@RobParkerESPN) September 26, 2012

First off, we've finally found the person that pumped up Moneyball's gate receipts so much. Secondly, there was a book that came out nearly a decade ago (that, get this, the movie was based on!) that explained the Moneyball concept a lot better than a two hour Hollywood movie ever could. Moneyball isn't about winning the World Series. It's about exploiting market ineffciencies to create a regular season contender on a low budget. Just like in every series, it's a matter of getting hot for a month. The Phillies won 102 games last season and were eliminated in the NLDS by a team that didn't get into the playoffs until the last day of the regular season. It happens.

Where's my pocket protector, glasses, laptop and another date-less night? I wanna fit in. Lol

— Rob Parker (@RobParkerESPN) September 26, 2012

And that's how Parker finishes up...with more terrible nerd jokes! The depth of his commentary and insight is striking. Let's review: an ESPN pundit, who proudly states in his Twitter bio that he is a regular on First Take and a show called NUMBERS NEVER LIE hates statistics and belittles and bullies anyone who uses things like math, numbers, logic, and reason. This is actually happening. 

Rob Parker must be so confused.

Rob Parker isn't a baseball writer, or fan for that matter. He's a troll, who gets paid by ESPN to yell about whatever the hot topic of the day is, no matter what show he's on. When he has no valid analysis or point to make, he mindlessly shouts "NERDS!" to anyone within earshot. I can't wait until he attempts to define Miguel Cabrera's candidacy for MVP with the Triple Crown... which is determined via statistics. Batting average, home runs, and RBI are statistics, just like every stat being used in favor of Trout's candidacy. 

Simply put, Rob Parker is everything wrong with ESPN and sports media today.

THE BACKYARD
BEST OF MAXIM
RELATED ARTICLES

Captain Morgan Poses With Mike Trout

Sure, Mike Trout has only been the legal drinking age since August 7 but he's got the Captain Morgan pose down already. During some locker room shenanigans, this picture was taken with Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter and the rookie phenom hanging out with the famous rum captain.In the tweet featuring the picture, Trout didn't give a reason for the visit from the booze icon. I...

Angels' Trout sets franchise record

Los Angeles Angels center fielder Mike Trout became the franchise's all-time leader in runs scored for a season with 125 when he led off Friday's game against the Texas Rangers with a home run. The record of 124 was previously held by Vladimir Guerrero in 2004.

Re-inventing the AL MVP race

Miguel Cabrera and Mike Trout. The AL MVP race is pretty much a two-horse race at this point. It’s the explosive rookie phenom vs. the man chasing the elusive Triple Crown. Those who decry baseball as “boring” would be hard pressed to explain the tension present in this sudden rivalry. Almost overnight, it seems every sports media outlet in existence has their cameras trained...

Dave Dombrowski doesn’t think the AL MVP should be determined by WAR he thinks it should be determined by WAR…

The WAR (Wins Above Replacement) has been a very popular and controversial stat this year, especially when given the argument over who should be the AL MVP, Mike Trout of the Angles or our own Miguel Cabrera. Now if your asking yourself what exactly is the WAR statistic FanGraphs describes it as such… WAR basically looks at a player and asks the question, “If this player got...

Trout, Weaver in mix for postseason honors

There is no debate about the American League's Rookie of the Year this season. That award will go to Los Angeles Angels center fielder Mike Trout. However, the Angels have players involved in the debates surrounding the AL's other major awards -- MVP and Cy Young. Trout has been the leading MVP candidate for most of the second half, bidding to join Fred Lynn (1975) and...

American League MVP: The murky case for Miguel Cabrera

The members of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America (BBWAA) definitely have their work cut out for them when it comes to picking this year’s American League recipient of the Kenesaw Mountain Landis Memorial Baseball Award, better known as the Most Valuable Player award. For me, the case is undeniably murky. Still, if I had a vote to submit, I would lean ever-so-slightly...

Game 2012.154: Royals at Tigers

81-72, .5 games back. There was a brief moment of exuberance last night, when the Tigers were arguably tied for first, and Miguel Cabrera was arguably in the Triple Crown lead. Then stephen spoke and all hell broke loose. Minutes later a Josh Hamilton 6th inning HR and an Adam Dunn 8th inning 3 run blast wiped the smiles away, and the Tigers and Cabrera were knocked back down a...

Why is Triple Crown feat so rare?

No hitter has won baseballs Triple Crown since Carl Yastrzemski in 1967. You probably knew that already. Here, though, is an even more telling piece of information about one of the hardest achievements in professional sports: Until Detroits Miguel Cabrera recently held the American League lead in batting average, home runs and RBI, only one player since Yaz Dick Allen in 1972 ...

Plenty on the line in final week

One week from today, we'll know. We'll know if baseball stages an encore to last year's Game 162 magic. We'll know if Miguel Cabrera becomes the first Triple Crown winner in 45 years. We'll know if the storybook seasons of the A's and Orioles stretch into the playoffs. We'll know if the Angels or Rays shatter the odds and snare a wild-card berth. ...

Angels 7, Rangers 4

Jered Weaver became the American League's first 20-game winner, Mike Trout hit a leadoff homer and the Los Angeles Angels beat Texas 7-4 Friday night to prevent the Rangers from clinching a playoff berth. Los Angeles entered the day two games behind Oakland for the last wild-card spot. The Athletics, who came in trailing the first-place Rangers by four games in the AL West,...

Dempster, Rangers can't match Angels

ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) -- Jered Weaver became the American League's first 20-game winner, Mike Trout hit a leadoff homer and the Los Angeles Angels beat Texas 7-4 Friday night to prevent the Rangers from clinching a playoff berth. Los Angeles entered the day two games behind Oakland for the last wild-card spot. The Athletics, who came in trailing the first-place Rangers by four...

Hamilton rooting for Cabrera's Triple Crown

By ANTHONY ANDROFOXSportsSouthwest.com ARLINGTON, Texas The only person standing between Detroit's Miguel Cabrera and a Triple Crown is pulling for the Tigers' slugger to be the first to achieve the milestone since 1967. That doesn't mean Josh Hamilton plans to go into a power funk though. Cabrera started the day leading the American League in batting average and...

09-27 Matt Shepard

Matt Shepard of WDFN in Detroit joins Fox Sports Tonight to discuss Miguel Cabrera's quest for the Triple Crown.

Yaz on Triple Crown: Somebody's got to do it

BOSTON (AP) -- Former Red Sox outfielder Carl Yastrzemski thinks that being in a pennant race will help Detroit's Miguel Cabrera in his attempt to win the Triple Crown. And Yaz should know: He's the last player to lead his league in batting average, homers and RBIs in the same season. "In 67, the Triple Crown was never even mentioned once," Yastrzemski said Wednesday...
MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.