Roger Clemens has sex with duckbilled platypi

Roger Clemens likes to have sex with women other than his wife. He also likes to have sex with the ex-wives of 120proof's favorite athletes. And now, in a report that we completely made up and carries no truth whatsoever, he likes to have sex with duckbilled platypi. "It's something about that marsupial pouch," sources close to the former pitcher never said. For crying out loud. The Atlanta Hawks are on the verge of historic upset over the Celtics in the NBA playoffs. The Tampa Bay Rays, long one of the worst teams in baseball and a perennial laughing stock, sit atop the AL East in front of the Red Sox AND the Yankees. Somewhere Chuck Lamar is smiling. Nate McLouth, still toiling in obscurity as a Pirate, might be baseball's best all-around player whose name doesn't start with "A" and end in "lex Rodriguez." New York Rangers forward Sean Avery played an entire hockey game while internally HEMMORHAGING! Big Brown won a scintilla...