The Peavy Dilemma: A Play in One Act

I’ve written a short, one-act, one-man play based on today’s rumor that the only thing standing between Jake Peavy and a trade to the White Sox is Peavy’s approval. I will play the part of Jake Peavy. Bugs&Cranks presents “The Peavy Dilemma.” I'll take the Encinitas Cliffs, thanks. CURTAIN PEAVY IS SEATED POOLSIDE IN THE SAN DIEGO SUNSHINE. NEXT TO HIM RESTS AN ICE-COLD PACIFICO AND A CELLPHONE. CELLPHONE RINGS, PLAYING UPBEAT MARIACHI MUSIC. AFTER SEVERAL RINGS, PEAVY REACHES FOR THE PHONE. PEAVY: Yyyello? Yes, this is Jake Peavy. A what? Another trade rumor? Hmm. Interesting. CELLPHONE: PEAVY: What’s that, Mr. Towers? You need my approval? I see. CELLPHONE: PEAVY: Chicago? CELLPHONE: PEAVY: You want my permission for a trade to the White Sox? CELLPHONE: PEAVY: You want me to move from San Diego...