Found December 27, 2012 on Extra Pine Tar:
Urbina_takes_over_93f5
Former MLB closer Ugueth “Uggie” Urbina was released from a Venezuelan prison five and a half years in to his 14 year sentence for trying to make his workers in to human Moltov cocktails and hacking them up with a machete, all because he thought they stole one of his guns. I’ve never been to Venezuelan prison, but I can imagine five and a half years probably felt like 14, and if Uggie was on his best behavior who am I to say he shouldn’t be let out early? My issue here is the reaction that his release has garnered from his former friends and colleagues. The news broke on Twitter with his son tweeting out this picture and saying ”Finally with my father!” I get being excited to see your dad, even if he is a machete wielding lunatic. Family is family, and no amount of violent outbursts will change the fact that Juan Urbina is the fruit of Uggie’s homicidal loins. Soon after the news broke, Bobby Abreu gave his feelings about his being released. “I’m very happy because my buddy is curre...
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