Girl Fight: What about women's MMA?

PANKRATION: WHEN WOMEN COULDN'T WATCH

Pankration is arguably the oldest comprehensive fighting system in history. It originated in ancient Greece, and combined wrestling, joint locks, chokes, throws, and strikes. It was the martial fighting system of the Spartans and Alexander the Great's Macedonian phalanx, as well as a competitive sport (introduced at the Greek Olympic games in 648 B.C.) that was believed to be hugely popular. Severe injuries were common in matches, which continued until one fighter submitted, was rendered unconscious, or killed. There were only two rules, both of which endure in mixed martial arts competitions today: no eye gouging, and no biting. Much of the ancient pankration system has been lost now, but there are modern variants based on the evidence that's been preserved.

Unlike in ancient Rome (which we must remember is younger than ancient Greece), where evidence has been discovered that there were female gladiators, women were forbidden from fighting in ancient Greece. The punishment for a woman caught even watching a fight was to be thrown from a cliff.

I'm glad things have changed; otherwise, I'd have been thrown off a hundred cliffs already. I love watched mixed martial arts competitions, even when the guys are rolling around on the floor for three minutes. As long as I see some strategy and action at some point -- somebody out to win the fight instead of trying to just not lose -- I'm happy. I love a hard storm of strikes, but I also appreciate the techniques of grappling and submission holds. And thankfully, in our modern world, women are welcomed as spectators at MMA events. Especially if they've got big, bouncy boobs.

But what about women...as competitors?

AND IN THIS CORNER, WEARING THE BLACK SPORTS BRA...

There are women MMA fighters. The best known female fighter is probably Gina Carano, whose most recent victory was over Tonya Evinger in a televised EliteXC "Uprising" match on Showtime a couple weeks ago. Carano (pictured way down below) is obviously hot, and that's obviously one of the reasons men like to watch her. She also happens to be a bad ass kick boxer with submission holds in her repertoire -- and that's the important part when it comes to fighting. She currently trains with Team Couture, alongside the man whom many consider to be the greatest UFC Champion of all-time, Randy "The Natural" Couture.

There's also kick boxer Lisa "The Black Widow" King; Olga Bakalopoulos, who's trained with both Bas Rutten and Marcos Ruas; and vale tudo fighter Debi Purcell, "the first woman to compete and win in King of the Cage." Purcell founded a Web site called fightergirls.net that list dozens more competitors. The female fighters are just as varied as the male fighters in terms of techniques, skill levels, and appearance. There are some women on fightergirls.net that look like body builders, others that look like swimsuit models, and some that look like straight-up street scrappers. The few women's MMA matches I've seen have been competitive and fun to watch, although not as brutal as some of the men's bouts I've seen.

BUT YOU DO NOT WANT TO MEET THESE WOMEN IN A DARK ALLEY

For the record, the most gruesome fight I've ever seen -- and I've seen hundreds -- was an FMW "exploding barbed wire" match between two women on May 5, 1996. It was Megumi Kudo vs. Combat Toyoda in Japan. The match lasted 24 minutes, and involved barbed wire ropes, tables rigged with C4 explosives, metal chairs, baseball bats wrapped in barbed wire, and a sickle. There was a lot of brawling and blood, and yes, it was real. There's a moment in the match when Toyoda takes the sickle and gouges it over Kudo's head, and you can hear the flesh tearing and see the chunks of scalp and hair being ripped away. Seriously. This match is violent as hell (which is why I'm posting the URL for the YouTube clip below; viewer discretion advised and all that):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBW-Nwxwqps

SO MY POINT IS...

Women have always faced adversity in male-dominated sports, but MMA is THE sport of sports when it comes to speed, strength, physicality, and injury. The match I went on a tangent about above was not an MMA match, but a Japanese pro wrestling event. In MMA competitions, nobody's allowed to brandish weapons or even eye gouge (and hair pulling's generally not allowed, either). MMA fighters must utilize skills and stamina, and earn their victories cleanly. It is very much a sport, and these fighters are athletes. They train just as hard as any boxer, if not harder. But these matches are highly physical -- people get bloodied, broken, bruised, knocked out, and choked out. So the big question is: do people want to see women doing that to each other? I've read some arguments to the effect that men will gladly watch two hot chicks duke it out, but I've also read complaints that the only prominent female MMA fighters are pretty, which makes audiences less likely to take the fight seriously.

I don't think female MMA fighters need cauliflower ears and broken noses to be taken seriously, but I personally don't care how they look as long as they give me a good fight.