Heath Herring Is A Big Star

Ariel Helwani's interview with Heath Herring is hilarious and in need of some serious analysis. "With Acting Career In Full Swing, Heath Herring In No Hurry To Return To UFC" That's the longest headline in the history of the Internet and also very funny, even if it wasn't meant as a joke. In fact, it's probably funnier if it was not supposed to be funny. "You know, I don't have anything scheduled right now with the UFC. Like I said, this acting stuff is kind of taking off, I've got some other things going on. I'm really not in a big hurry to jump back in there right now. I'm kind of riding this wave and seeing where it's going to take me." Taking off? Wave? Are you kidding me? He was in a terrible movie that was probably seen by less than a thousand people. Now, he's in another soon-to-be terrible movie and all of a sudden he's the next Leonardo DiCaprio. Hearing fighters talk about acting makes me cringe. It's like watching a drunk friend talk himself into hooking up with a fat chick. No amount of spin can hide the fact that you're about to give up your dignity. Same exact thing with fighters. I'd much rather them say, "Someone offered me $10 grand to work for two days. You can't beat that." "I play a gang leader in the beginning, and I chase the kids into this bunker where they get eaten by monsters." I can't wait to hear what he'll play in his third movie. Hurry up, wave! The anticipation is killing me! "I've got a bunch of different movies lined up. Don't have anything signed just yet, but you know, the film industry is kind of like the fight industry, there's always rumors, but things always seem to fall in place afterwards." If the place is "straight to DVD", I agree. "You see the fight with [Frank] Mir and [Brock] Lesnar and Lesnar just pretty much dominated Mir, knocked him out in the second round, and beat the hell out of [Randy] Couture in the second round. And it's like, Wow, I was the only one who was able to go the full time with that guy. It doesn't really benefit me to go backwards and fight new up-and-comer guys. It's not really what I'm there to do, or what I'm there for." The only thing that would make this quote more ridiculous would be if he ended it with "I'm Heath Hernandez". This is just a small sample of his absurdity. I implore you to read the entire interview. I'd make fun of more stuff, but I don't think I can top the Heath Hernandez joke.