Friday night at the annual NASCAR awards banquet, Jimmie Johnson will deliver a really boring speech. He'll thank his team, his family, his myriad sponsors, Rick Hendrick and Jeff Gordon. Ten seconds after it's over, people will forget that he gave a speech in the first place and the legend of the Vanilla Racer will live on. Want to punch up your image, Jimmie? Here's the speech you should give:
[Standing ovation as he takes the stage to receive the championship trophy]
Wow. What can I say? Four championships in a row. No one has ever done that. No one. There are so many people I need to thank: my team, my family, my fans and my sponsors, but I won't. I've won four straight championships, I can say anything I want... and I will.
First off, thanks to Frank Caliendo for hosting tonight's event. Frank, your material is timeless... and the less time I hear it, the better! Frank is so bad at impressions, when he sets foot on the beach, he doesn't leave a mark in the sand.
Original Story:
http://www.allleftturns.com/awards-sp...
