Potentially TERRIBLE news in the NBA came out on Wednesday: the Chicago Bulls waived backup guard Marko Jaric. This news isn't in itself bad, he's a pretty mediocre basketball player, but because of the lasting ramifications.
If Jaric is unable to hook on with another NBA team then that means his wife, the lust-inducing super model Adriana Lima will have no reason to sit courtside at games. What if, god forbid, Jaric signs with a EUROPEAN team and we see the job of Hottest NBA Wife exported across the ocean?
This is EXACTLY the type of thing you can expect in Mitt Romney's America. I can only hope that President Obama, a Bulls fan himself, understands exactly how dire the consequences of losing Ms. Lima would be and steps in immediately.
If need be, for the good of America, I'll marry Ms. Lima instead in order to keep her safe in the US of A.